The Low Down on the down low….
By Brother Tracy Gibson…
What’s the real deal, anyway? What are the numbers of Black women coming down with HIV because their men are running with other men? I will try to get some sample information from BEBASHI (Black Educating Blacks about Sexual Health Issues) an AIDS support, education & information group here in the Philadelphia area.
But first off, let me say a few things about denial—and I’m not talking about that Big River in African from which Black Kings and Black Queens once ruled much of the civilized world. I’m talking about not being real about one’s life situation and honest about what is going on with you. Denying something exists when it is sitting right in your living room like a 5,000 pound elephant—that’s denial. If you are in denial, you know who I’m talking about.
If you are a Black woman and you or your man has come down with HIV you know who I’m talking about. Have you gone to get tested? What were the results? Do you need to start on medication? Was your man in prison recently? (By some estimates some one million Black men are in the Nation’s prison system.) When those Brothers come out they often move right back into the Black communities they came out of. Sometimes they are looking for other Black men for sexual companionship, but often they are looking for sexual companionship with Black women—often the ladies they left behind. Often, also, they have had unprotected sexual intercourse with other Black men while in jail. This is a large part of the reason why there are astronomical rates of Black women coming down with the sex bug. This is no laughing matter. We need our men and women to be healthy and happy and lead productive lives. Certainly one can lead such a responsible life and be HIV positive at the same time, what with the advent of all the different medications and treatments. More people are living longer and making themselves active and responsible and productive members of our Black society and our Black culture. But they need to at least know they are infected so they can face the music and get the help they need. I recently took an HIV test and don’t know the results yet. If they say I’m positive, I to will have to face the music and live the rest of my life as an HIV infected person. It won’t be soft JAZZ at first; it will be crashing loud freaky music because it is not music I want to hear. But face it I will, none the less.
As a Same Gender Loving (or SGL) Brother, I have plenty of friends who have already succumbed to the HIV bug. It has not been an easy life. My best friend in childhood lost his life when he was only 35 or 36 some 15 years ago. That was such a big blow to me that I couldn’t even go to the funeral. I loved him like a brother and his family was not very friendly or open to me wanting pictures of him so I could remember him properly and with dignity & grace. I extended my hand in friendship to his mother, but there was no extending hand of friendship coming back. I understand. It may have just been too much for her. My friend and I were never intimate together. We were just friends, but best friends. That loss blew me away a thousand times. I had to grow older without my best childhood friend just like many of you have lost friends in the Black community to gun shots, hoodlums, illegal drugs, fires, wars, car accidents and HIV. Life ain’t easy in the Black community. One thing that helped me cope with my loss of my good childhood friend was the ADODI Brotherhood. They had a brother with them named ??? who worked with me through that loss at a ADODI Brotherhood retreat. I strongly recommend the ADODI Brotherhood annual retreat for Brothers who are SGL and want to become better men with an ability to deal with more and deeper personal life issues. It ain’t easy work but your life with be richer and more rewarding because of it. I have lost over 20 friends throughout my life. That is part of the reason I work so hard to produce and distribute positive information for our Black people—because I know knowledge is power and we continue to be largely a powerless people without the knowledge we need. Why is this? Because we let people like that simple blabber mouth Wendy Williams of New York tell us how to lead our lives & influence us instead of our brilliant scholars, activists and organizers [such as Maisha Ongoza (a member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League (in Philadelphia) and a children’s advocate); Shahrazad Ali ( A member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League, an author and an education activist); Wesley Wilson-Bey (of Men United Against Violence); J. Wayne Moore (Black Talk Radio sage and activist); and Dr. Tony Monteiro (A Temple University professor).] We let foolish people like Wendy Williams, who White radio and TV producers slap in front of us, tell us what to think and feel instead of going to a meeting on Saturday, August 29, 2009 and listening to a scholarly and in-depth discussion of the life, times and influence of another Black activist, important spiritual leader and vastly important intellectual--Elijah Muhammad founder of the Nation of Islam. (The meeting was held at 1 P.M. at the Berean Institute, 19th and Girard Avenue, in Philadelphia and lasted for four hours).
Wendy Williams was an asinine Radio Talk Show host, on Talk Radio she would talk more trash than I can even mention here. However, she has made a positive transition to TV on BET and her new show has some promise. I was very concerned about Wendy because she was a Black woman who was really NOT a good role model for our Black girls. Fortunately for TV viewers she has made this positive transition, through which she is now advising young parents on how to deal with issues in a more positive, forthright and affirming manner than she was on talk radio. A big shout out and a big ``How You Doin’’ to Wendy and congratulations on presenting a more positive media image and show. If she keeps along this vain she will be a real asset to Black parents and the rest of us…
But I digress. What I wanted to talk about was the down low and how so many Black women are being negatively impacted because of this phenomenon. What is this down low thing anyway? It is Brothers being under cover about their same-sex sexual exploits and having sex with both men and women, but not revealing much about themselves or their sexual backgrounds. That’s what being on the down low is all about. Let’s talk, briefly, if you will, about what is really happening. Some Black men are still having unprotected sex without even wanting the female to have children. They have some strange idea that they will not make their mates pregnant. The heat of the moment takes over and lives are changes and dreams dashed forever. This has sometimes resulted in not only a pregnancy, but also a positive result for HIV for the woman. Black women have to stop falling for the slick, fast-talking Brothers who just want some squeeze and then disappear without a trace. There are ways of making out with much fewer risks. Always demand a condom. There are now female condoms if your man doesn’t want to be responsible and use one. Don’t just have sex on the slide. Make sure you know the person for a few weeks first and that you know what you are entering into. Meet men at church and Mosque instead of the closest Pick-Up bar (These are great ideas for Black Same Gender Loving men as well.)
Another secret to meeting men of essence is following your interests. What do you like to do? Join a professional organization and go to their meetings. Start to network and rub elbows with like-minded people. You will see your circle of friends expand and grow.
Play it safe with sex right off the bat when you meet people and don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your partner or potential partner. If you are poor and don’t have access to condoms there are places like BEBASHI and Philadelphia Fight which give out condoms for free. I have written a paper about the sexual abuse that goes on in prison and how to stop and or curb that abuse and thusly curb some of the increasing levels of Black women and Black men getting the HIV bug. (One of the organizations I work with is planning a conference on Sex in Our Community for the year 2013. There will be some six events leading up to the conference. Contact me about this and find out more at 302.276.2755 or BrotherTracy11@GMail.Com). I have advocated for free and open use of condoms in the Nation’s prison system. Anything less is allowing our men and women to increasingly come down with the HIV bug which can still be deadly. I am not saying that there should be more acceptance of abusive homosexual activity in our prison system, but we can’t gamble with people’s lives and that is exactly what is happening right now the way things are set up in the prison system. I need you to look into this issue more deeply and contact your political, civic, community and religious leaders and write them with your views and opinions—even if they have the opposite views of what mine are, they need to hear from you.
Moreover, the down low is also just not honest. It is taking advantage of women and still having men and not necessarily telling the man about the woman. This is not the behavior that we pledged to Brother-Minister Louis Farrakhan at the original Million Man March in 1995 and it is not being an Authentic Black Man, as described in Chapter 13 of this book.
Tenuous
I KNOW HOW TENUOUS INTIMATE RELATIONS CAN BE!! But a real level of honesty needs to come into play in our sexual and intimate relations as Black people for us to survive and thrive as a genuine, holistic, healed, spiritual and caring race of decent people into the future... So if you are on the down low, think of what you are doing to yourself, your man, your woman and your community before you pull that thing out again and get to work with it.
By Brother Tracy Gibson…
What’s the real deal, anyway? What are the numbers of Black women coming down with HIV because their men are running with other men? I will try to get some sample information from BEBASHI (Black Educating Blacks about Sexual Health Issues) an AIDS support, education & information group here in the Philadelphia area.
But first off, let me say a few things about denial—and I’m not talking about that Big River in African from which Black Kings and Black Queens once ruled much of the civilized world. I’m talking about not being real about one’s life situation and honest about what is going on with you. Denying something exists when it is sitting right in your living room like a 5,000 pound elephant—that’s denial. If you are in denial, you know who I’m talking about.
If you are a Black woman and you or your man has come down with HIV you know who I’m talking about. Have you gone to get tested? What were the results? Do you need to start on medication? Was your man in prison recently? (By some estimates some one million Black men are in the Nation’s prison system.) When those Brothers come out they often move right back into the Black communities they came out of. Sometimes they are looking for other Black men for sexual companionship, but often they are looking for sexual companionship with Black women—often the ladies they left behind. Often, also, they have had unprotected sexual intercourse with other Black men while in jail. This is a large part of the reason why there are astronomical rates of Black women coming down with the sex bug. This is no laughing matter. We need our men and women to be healthy and happy and lead productive lives. Certainly one can lead such a responsible life and be HIV positive at the same time, what with the advent of all the different medications and treatments. More people are living longer and making themselves active and responsible and productive members of our Black society and our Black culture. But they need to at least know they are infected so they can face the music and get the help they need. I recently took an HIV test and don’t know the results yet. If they say I’m positive, I to will have to face the music and live the rest of my life as an HIV infected person. It won’t be soft JAZZ at first; it will be crashing loud freaky music because it is not music I want to hear. But face it I will, none the less.
As a Same Gender Loving (or SGL) Brother, I have plenty of friends who have already succumbed to the HIV bug. It has not been an easy life. My best friend in childhood lost his life when he was only 35 or 36 some 15 years ago. That was such a big blow to me that I couldn’t even go to the funeral. I loved him like a brother and his family was not very friendly or open to me wanting pictures of him so I could remember him properly and with dignity & grace. I extended my hand in friendship to his mother, but there was no extending hand of friendship coming back. I understand. It may have just been too much for her. My friend and I were never intimate together. We were just friends, but best friends. That loss blew me away a thousand times. I had to grow older without my best childhood friend just like many of you have lost friends in the Black community to gun shots, hoodlums, illegal drugs, fires, wars, car accidents and HIV. Life ain’t easy in the Black community. One thing that helped me cope with my loss of my good childhood friend was the ADODI Brotherhood. They had a brother with them named ??? who worked with me through that loss at a ADODI Brotherhood retreat. I strongly recommend the ADODI Brotherhood annual retreat for Brothers who are SGL and want to become better men with an ability to deal with more and deeper personal life issues. It ain’t easy work but your life with be richer and more rewarding because of it. I have lost over 20 friends throughout my life. That is part of the reason I work so hard to produce and distribute positive information for our Black people—because I know knowledge is power and we continue to be largely a powerless people without the knowledge we need. Why is this? Because we let people like that simple blabber mouth Wendy Williams of New York tell us how to lead our lives & influence us instead of our brilliant scholars, activists and organizers [such as Maisha Ongoza (a member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League (in Philadelphia) and a children’s advocate); Shahrazad Ali ( A member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League, an author and an education activist); Wesley Wilson-Bey (of Men United Against Violence); J. Wayne Moore (Black Talk Radio sage and activist); and Dr. Tony Monteiro (A Temple University professor).] We let foolish people like Wendy Williams, who White radio and TV producers slap in front of us, tell us what to think and feel instead of going to a meeting on Saturday, August 29, 2009 and listening to a scholarly and in-depth discussion of the life, times and influence of another Black activist, important spiritual leader and vastly important intellectual--Elijah Muhammad founder of the Nation of Islam. (The meeting was held at 1 P.M. at the Berean Institute, 19th and Girard Avenue, in Philadelphia and lasted for four hours).
Wendy Williams was an asinine Radio Talk Show host, on Talk Radio she would talk more trash than I can even mention here. However, she has made a positive transition to TV on BET and her new show has some promise. I was very concerned about Wendy because she was a Black woman who was really NOT a good role model for our Black girls. Fortunately for TV viewers she has made this positive transition, through which she is now advising young parents on how to deal with issues in a more positive, forthright and affirming manner than she was on talk radio. A big shout out and a big ``How You Doin’’ to Wendy and congratulations on presenting a more positive media image and show. If she keeps along this vain she will be a real asset to Black parents and the rest of us…
But I digress. What I wanted to talk about was the down low and how so many Black women are being negatively impacted because of this phenomenon. What is this down low thing anyway? It is Brothers being under cover about their same-sex sexual exploits and having sex with both men and women, but not revealing much about themselves or their sexual backgrounds. That’s what being on the down low is all about. Let’s talk, briefly, if you will, about what is really happening. Some Black men are still having unprotected sex without even wanting the female to have children. They have some strange idea that they will not make their mates pregnant. The heat of the moment takes over and lives are changes and dreams dashed forever. This has sometimes resulted in not only a pregnancy, but also a positive result for HIV for the woman. Black women have to stop falling for the slick, fast-talking Brothers who just want some squeeze and then disappear without a trace. There are ways of making out with much fewer risks. Always demand a condom. There are now female condoms if your man doesn’t want to be responsible and use one. Don’t just have sex on the slide. Make sure you know the person for a few weeks first and that you know what you are entering into. Meet men at church and Mosque instead of the closest Pick-Up bar (These are great ideas for Black Same Gender Loving men as well.)
Another secret to meeting men of essence is following your interests. What do you like to do? Join a professional organization and go to their meetings. Start to network and rub elbows with like-minded people. You will see your circle of friends expand and grow.
Play it safe with sex right off the bat when you meet people and don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your partner or potential partner. If you are poor and don’t have access to condoms there are places like BEBASHI and Philadelphia Fight which give out condoms for free. I have written a paper about the sexual abuse that goes on in prison and how to stop and or curb that abuse and thusly curb some of the increasing levels of Black women and Black men getting the HIV bug. (One of the organizations I work with is planning a conference on Sex in Our Community for the year 2013. There will be some six events leading up to the conference. Contact me about this and find out more at 302.276.2755 or BrotherTracy11@GMail.Com). I have advocated for free and open use of condoms in the Nation’s prison system. Anything less is allowing our men and women to increasingly come down with the HIV bug which can still be deadly. I am not saying that there should be more acceptance of abusive homosexual activity in our prison system, but we can’t gamble with people’s lives and that is exactly what is happening right now the way things are set up in the prison system. I need you to look into this issue more deeply and contact your political, civic, community and religious leaders and write them with your views and opinions—even if they have the opposite views of what mine are, they need to hear from you.
Moreover, the down low is also just not honest. It is taking advantage of women and still having men and not necessarily telling the man about the woman. This is not the behavior that we pledged to Brother-Minister Louis Farrakhan at the original Million Man March in 1995 and it is not being an Authentic Black Man, as described in Chapter 13 of this book.
Tenuous
I KNOW HOW TENUOUS INTIMATE RELATIONS CAN BE!! But a real level of honesty needs to come into play in our sexual and intimate relations as Black people for us to survive and thrive as a genuine, holistic, healed, spiritual and caring race of decent people into the future... So if you are on the down low, think of what you are doing to yourself, your man, your woman and your community before you pull that thing out again and get to work with it.
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