Ode to Same Gender Loving Black Brothers Arnold Jackson And Joseph Beam…..
By Brother Tracy Gibson...
I had the delectable honor of being goods friends with two of Black Philadelphia’s finest Black Same Gender Loving (Gay) activists. They were Arnold Jackson, who hosted a TV Program on alternative Public TV about the HIV pandemic and was a member and former officer of the Black SGL Support group Adodi in Philadelphia; and Joseph Bean who edited and wrote for the first Black Gay anthology ever known to history ``In the Life’’. He was also an early organizer in the Black SGL movement in the Philadelphia area. They were both extraordinary men in their own right. I loved them when they were alive and I love, maintain and uphold their memory here.
Arnold I once interviewed and found him to be authentic, real, friendly, open, caring, concerned, honest and loving as well as politically active and on target with the issues. Arnold was also known to star in minor theater productions as well as anchor his own TV program. He was on the front lines in the fight against AIDS / HIV and was a believer in condom use early. He felt the injustices that stemmed from our federal government were many. He was an extremely attractive man who I had the honor of filming nude once at a beach in New Jersey. (We did this totally legally and with the permission of the State Police of New Jersey who looked on and made sure we went by the book at the time). Arnold had a big smile and would do anything for his friends. At the same time, he didn’t like to be used or hounded by people. But he loved progressive politics. He was a staunch Democrat and was probably known to vote for parties left of the Democrats from time to time. He is one we lost in the battle, but he will be forever remembered for what he did to help Black people, the left out and Gay and Bisexual men, specifically. If there was a gay rights march to attend, he was there. If there was organizing to be done for a new Black Same Gender Loving organization, he was there. If there was support needed for the existing Black gay organizations at the time, he could be counted on. He will not be forgotten for his efforts or for his bold honesty and forthrightness.
Another Brother, Joseph Beam, was basically a writer. He didn’t dabble in this and that—he loved to write and that was what he did best. We would meet at a certain Center City watering hole for drinks in the mid 80’s and complain about the latest horrible thing Ronald Reagan had done to Black people and or Gay people. By this point in Joe’s life, he had gotten tired of meetings and discussions and even lectures. He was about writing about all the crap that was happening and he used clear and concise words to express every sentence and paragraph. I learned a lot from him. He wasn’t fearful of using a big word here and there to help you broaden your vocabulary either. Joe was also a very funny person. He had a great sense of humor and would always talk about what the latest goings-on were. His mother is carrying on his work and may well be putting together another anthology in his name. ``In The Life,’’ was a good seller and led the way for a score of other such books to come years later. I had an autographed copy of the book that got away from me. Joe said I wasn’t qualified to write for his book which made me hit the roof at the time. But he was right; I was still too busy trying to change the world than to realize that my writing was my best weapon for doing so. Not necessarily street action and organizing—some of which I still stubbornly do. I was a scrappy street activist and an editorial assistant for TV Guide Magazine at the time of his departure. Joe was a good friend who will never be forgotten for his contributions to humanity and the ``cause’’ for Black, Gay and the underserved of humanity. He also, died much too young. He would have been a great writer along the lines of James Baldwin or Countee Cullen if he had lived. Believe me, this I know.
Both of these brothers are sorely missed members of the community who, with every step, forged ahead for their race and their kind. They knew the injustices intimately and worked to correct them. They didn’t let the flashing lights of TV, Bling, Bling, movies, sex and other distracting factors take them off their course. The work was there and they wrapped their lives around it in the best way they could. They were effective activists who cared about you and me and they laid their lives down for what they believed in. They were REAL American heroes to me—not police officers, FBI Agents and the COPS you see on TV and in the movies, but REAL American heroes who will most likely NOT have a movie made about their work or go down with much of a paper trail. But there are thousands of other Philadelphians, along with myself, who will not forget them—ever!! Thank you Brother Joe and Brother Arnold for what you have done to bring truth to light!! If you had both lived, Philadelphia would not be so much of a provincial and backwards little town it can sometimes be right now. You were gorgeous, attractive, intelligent and educated Proud Black men. A mix that is still dangerous in Black men as far as the Status Quo in America is concerned—even in the Obama era. I often wonder what you would have thought of our First Black President. I am sure you would have been proud, but had your criticisms also. But, like I say, and I’m sure you will agree, thank GOD we don’t have that stupid John McCain in that White House!! GOD bless you both and keep you always in our righteous memory.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Escaping Poverty!!!
Escaping Poverty: How Do We Do it?...1) Don’t think like a poor person. Go to some nice stores once in a while—even if you are just window shopping--and say to yourself that you deserve a few nice things.
2) Look in the mirror each morning and say. ``I am not always going to be poor,’’ and really mean it!!
3) Find a mentor who has made it out of poverty and keep in touch with them through mail or e-mail.
4) Trust in GOD that one day you will not be poor.
5) Always be willing to learn new things. Take your children to the library instead of just letting them sit around the house and vegetate by watching TV.
6) Be an ``IDEA’’ person. Think of things and ideas that can move you into making money. Talk to friends and family members and ask for suggested books, videos and financial seminars to go to…
7) If you can afford to get a computer and get on the inter net, by all means do so.
8) Don’t trip about being poor. There are always roads out of difficult places.
9) Take books out of the library about subjects that interest you and read, read, read… (Skim a few books on finance and economics as well).
10) Think about going back to school and getting that first or second degree. It will upgrade your income. I know it may be hard, but look into tutoring before you even start. Ask your academic counselor at school…
11) Remember Poverty is also a mind set, not just the amount of money you have or make.
12) Watch more PBS and Discover Channel instead of the typical drivel on commercial TV and read the Black Enterprise Magazine from cover to cover each month. The fact that you ``can’’ and we ``can’’ will start to sink in……
13) Try desperately to own and maintain ownership of property. Then learn how to manage it well…
14) DON’T PLAY THE LOTERY!!! (It will evaporate what little disposable income you have and make it that much harder to get out of debt).
15) No matter what your income is, you may be beholding to a head of household for every penny you have. This is not a good situation. If you find yourself in a position or situation where you are oppressed by a head of household, be they a parent, guardian, wife or husband and you want to maintain custody and guardianship of your children—no matter how many children you have—there is a way to do this. You will need to secretly call the Red Cross, Children’s Services or another social service agency and let them know the situation. You will have to trust a friend and get out of the house at an appointed time and seek shelter. There are many such shelters (especially for women & children) in large cities, but even if you live in a smaller town or a rural area, you should be able to find the help you need. I know this takes courage, but you don’t want to stay in that situation another month. You may well have to start over from scratch, but at least you won’t have the family ogre to deal with. In five years you will be a different person, but not if you don’t take those first scary steps. Think of yourself as a mini Rosa Parks or a mini Harriet Tubman… I say this because I know that for you the act of escaping from a household oppressor (from a spouse or parent or even a child who may well have been beating and kicking and hitting you or threatening you with a knife or gun or using some other means of harassment or interrogation including just verbal and or mental abuse) is very real…But you deserve better…Take the chance in 2010 and GET OUT!!! GET AWAY!!
16) Go to the Self Help Section of your neighborhood book store or the library and find something that empowers or interests you. I guarantee that if you do this something of interest will jump out from the shelf and scream for you to take that book home with you. Remember you can request books at the Library, if you only see it at the store, but can’t afford it…
17) DON’T Support stores like Wal-Mart that don’t treat poor and oppressed people and women correctly as employees. You are just supporting your own oppression when you do this. I don’t care how cheap the prices are. The cost in human blood and humane ethics and humane principles is way too much, way too high….. Shop at Target which gives a few dollars back to the community in support programs & community programs for the poor and needy…Or support local Black-owned stores in your area… You will feel much better about yourself in the long run…
18) Oh, and by the way, don’t forget to laugh and smile every day…It is an important part of your financial brief and your recovery from poverty……..Remember levity is the spice of the rich…..
2) Look in the mirror each morning and say. ``I am not always going to be poor,’’ and really mean it!!
3) Find a mentor who has made it out of poverty and keep in touch with them through mail or e-mail.
4) Trust in GOD that one day you will not be poor.
5) Always be willing to learn new things. Take your children to the library instead of just letting them sit around the house and vegetate by watching TV.
6) Be an ``IDEA’’ person. Think of things and ideas that can move you into making money. Talk to friends and family members and ask for suggested books, videos and financial seminars to go to…
7) If you can afford to get a computer and get on the inter net, by all means do so.
8) Don’t trip about being poor. There are always roads out of difficult places.
9) Take books out of the library about subjects that interest you and read, read, read… (Skim a few books on finance and economics as well).
10) Think about going back to school and getting that first or second degree. It will upgrade your income. I know it may be hard, but look into tutoring before you even start. Ask your academic counselor at school…
11) Remember Poverty is also a mind set, not just the amount of money you have or make.
12) Watch more PBS and Discover Channel instead of the typical drivel on commercial TV and read the Black Enterprise Magazine from cover to cover each month. The fact that you ``can’’ and we ``can’’ will start to sink in……
13) Try desperately to own and maintain ownership of property. Then learn how to manage it well…
14) DON’T PLAY THE LOTERY!!! (It will evaporate what little disposable income you have and make it that much harder to get out of debt).
15) No matter what your income is, you may be beholding to a head of household for every penny you have. This is not a good situation. If you find yourself in a position or situation where you are oppressed by a head of household, be they a parent, guardian, wife or husband and you want to maintain custody and guardianship of your children—no matter how many children you have—there is a way to do this. You will need to secretly call the Red Cross, Children’s Services or another social service agency and let them know the situation. You will have to trust a friend and get out of the house at an appointed time and seek shelter. There are many such shelters (especially for women & children) in large cities, but even if you live in a smaller town or a rural area, you should be able to find the help you need. I know this takes courage, but you don’t want to stay in that situation another month. You may well have to start over from scratch, but at least you won’t have the family ogre to deal with. In five years you will be a different person, but not if you don’t take those first scary steps. Think of yourself as a mini Rosa Parks or a mini Harriet Tubman… I say this because I know that for you the act of escaping from a household oppressor (from a spouse or parent or even a child who may well have been beating and kicking and hitting you or threatening you with a knife or gun or using some other means of harassment or interrogation including just verbal and or mental abuse) is very real…But you deserve better…Take the chance in 2010 and GET OUT!!! GET AWAY!!
16) Go to the Self Help Section of your neighborhood book store or the library and find something that empowers or interests you. I guarantee that if you do this something of interest will jump out from the shelf and scream for you to take that book home with you. Remember you can request books at the Library, if you only see it at the store, but can’t afford it…
17) DON’T Support stores like Wal-Mart that don’t treat poor and oppressed people and women correctly as employees. You are just supporting your own oppression when you do this. I don’t care how cheap the prices are. The cost in human blood and humane ethics and humane principles is way too much, way too high….. Shop at Target which gives a few dollars back to the community in support programs & community programs for the poor and needy…Or support local Black-owned stores in your area… You will feel much better about yourself in the long run…
18) Oh, and by the way, don’t forget to laugh and smile every day…It is an important part of your financial brief and your recovery from poverty……..Remember levity is the spice of the rich…..
Authentic Leadership.....
Leadership in the Black Community: No Half Steppin!!
If you want to be a true and authentic leader in the Black community, don’t come half stepping. This is not an easy job. You will need training, patience, courage, fortitude, goodwill, an ability to effectively strategize, an ability to create good fellowship & unity and an ability to draw the best out of people you might not like or agree with on all the issues all the time. To be really successful and effective in helping your people you will also need an uncanny ability to NOT be self centered, egomaniacal or egotistical. (Ultimately it is not about you or how popular you are. It is about how many people you were able t help and what you helped that at doing.) Were you able to build some bridges and roads, were you able to build some wells, were you able to raise some money, feed some people or stop someone’s foreclosure? These are not just leadership characteristics I made up out of thin air. They are real requirements that I have assessed one needs to be truly helpful to your people through years of working with and helping Black people on the front lines... As my sister says, this ain’t no joke. Your people REALLY NEED YOU!! Then you will also need the ability to make it all work together. A good sense of humor and an ability to not take yourself or others too seriously will also help. Like I said, this is not an easy task, but guess what—we need more and better leaders all the time. It doesn’t matter where they come from. What matters is that you can effectively implement the broad changes that our community needs in a non-condescending and upbeat manner. You will often have to do this while considering that our community has diverse, ever-changing and sometimes conflicting interests. Do you qualify as a Black leader? There are any number of Black elected officials who DON’T qualify... That’s right, in my humble opinion, being an elected official DOESN’T NECESSARILY QUALIFY YOU AS A BLACK LEADER!! It is more than just getting elected, Mr. Obama!! Who qualifies?
I know I don’t, but guess what, I try to lead anyway. The reason: none of us are perfect. While I’m trying to reach for that gold star of true and authentic Black leadership, I’ll provide the support and inspiration I can through whatever channels I can right now, every day... I will, of course, step on some toes and do the wrong things from time to time, but I will learn in the process. What I’m trying to say is don’t give up and don’t give up on our leadership that you might perceive as imperfect or even mean-spirited and wrong headed at times. Keep telling them, in what ever ways you can, to do their best and to do the right things. Tell them to think positively & proactively and never give up hope for Black people… Tell them to be directed and goal oriented. Tell them not to make promises that they know full well they cannot keep…
Keep reminding our leaders that they can’t half step. This is not a half-way house. We need whole steppers. Whole spirits. Whole people. We need spiritually connected and loving people. But be sure, at some point, to tell people they are doing a good job at some things. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Highlight the positive and if you have to be critical, try to be constructive in your criticism…
Sometimes the Established Order tries to choose our leaders for us. More often than not, this doesn’t work. The best leaders for us are ones that come up from the grass roots who have cut there teeth through involvement with some local organization, movement or endeavor...They represent the true struggling nature or the community and are guided and motivated by a real and authentic love for Black people. They don’t often point the finger at wrong doers within our community, but choose instead to see the potential in all of us and give positive guidance, direction and purpose to people who have at least mustered the courage to try.
I think our leaders can be men or women. They can be straight or Same Gender Loving—just be honest and do the best you can. One important think is to listen. Listen to the poorest among us and the most powerful too… But while you do, consider the source of information you are listening to. What have they been through? What is their track record?
There are any number of organizations in the Philadelphia area that can utilize Black leadership, but like I said, this is not a job for the weak minded, the weak spirited or those seeking only personal gain. The community has a way of seeking out & exposing phonies very quickly. But don’t be discouraged. Take on a mentor and go full steam ahead. Your leadership abilities can be honed and crafted over a number of years and eventually you will be a force to be reckoned with. Always try to keep your head above water ethically and financially. Always try to be honest and have integrity as your focal point. You will go far. If you are young there are many young Black people walking around with no hope & feeling left out, distraught and angry. They need the gift of your leadership. It will give them sustenance and purpose. With a little help they can begin to have hope and inspiration. But always remember to be as authentic and real as possible with what you are doing, saying and projecting to our people... Good luck and God’s speed if you choose to take on this mission… You will need both…
If you want to be a true and authentic leader in the Black community, don’t come half stepping. This is not an easy job. You will need training, patience, courage, fortitude, goodwill, an ability to effectively strategize, an ability to create good fellowship & unity and an ability to draw the best out of people you might not like or agree with on all the issues all the time. To be really successful and effective in helping your people you will also need an uncanny ability to NOT be self centered, egomaniacal or egotistical. (Ultimately it is not about you or how popular you are. It is about how many people you were able t help and what you helped that at doing.) Were you able to build some bridges and roads, were you able to build some wells, were you able to raise some money, feed some people or stop someone’s foreclosure? These are not just leadership characteristics I made up out of thin air. They are real requirements that I have assessed one needs to be truly helpful to your people through years of working with and helping Black people on the front lines... As my sister says, this ain’t no joke. Your people REALLY NEED YOU!! Then you will also need the ability to make it all work together. A good sense of humor and an ability to not take yourself or others too seriously will also help. Like I said, this is not an easy task, but guess what—we need more and better leaders all the time. It doesn’t matter where they come from. What matters is that you can effectively implement the broad changes that our community needs in a non-condescending and upbeat manner. You will often have to do this while considering that our community has diverse, ever-changing and sometimes conflicting interests. Do you qualify as a Black leader? There are any number of Black elected officials who DON’T qualify... That’s right, in my humble opinion, being an elected official DOESN’T NECESSARILY QUALIFY YOU AS A BLACK LEADER!! It is more than just getting elected, Mr. Obama!! Who qualifies?
I know I don’t, but guess what, I try to lead anyway. The reason: none of us are perfect. While I’m trying to reach for that gold star of true and authentic Black leadership, I’ll provide the support and inspiration I can through whatever channels I can right now, every day... I will, of course, step on some toes and do the wrong things from time to time, but I will learn in the process. What I’m trying to say is don’t give up and don’t give up on our leadership that you might perceive as imperfect or even mean-spirited and wrong headed at times. Keep telling them, in what ever ways you can, to do their best and to do the right things. Tell them to think positively & proactively and never give up hope for Black people… Tell them to be directed and goal oriented. Tell them not to make promises that they know full well they cannot keep…
Keep reminding our leaders that they can’t half step. This is not a half-way house. We need whole steppers. Whole spirits. Whole people. We need spiritually connected and loving people. But be sure, at some point, to tell people they are doing a good job at some things. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Highlight the positive and if you have to be critical, try to be constructive in your criticism…
Sometimes the Established Order tries to choose our leaders for us. More often than not, this doesn’t work. The best leaders for us are ones that come up from the grass roots who have cut there teeth through involvement with some local organization, movement or endeavor...They represent the true struggling nature or the community and are guided and motivated by a real and authentic love for Black people. They don’t often point the finger at wrong doers within our community, but choose instead to see the potential in all of us and give positive guidance, direction and purpose to people who have at least mustered the courage to try.
I think our leaders can be men or women. They can be straight or Same Gender Loving—just be honest and do the best you can. One important think is to listen. Listen to the poorest among us and the most powerful too… But while you do, consider the source of information you are listening to. What have they been through? What is their track record?
There are any number of organizations in the Philadelphia area that can utilize Black leadership, but like I said, this is not a job for the weak minded, the weak spirited or those seeking only personal gain. The community has a way of seeking out & exposing phonies very quickly. But don’t be discouraged. Take on a mentor and go full steam ahead. Your leadership abilities can be honed and crafted over a number of years and eventually you will be a force to be reckoned with. Always try to keep your head above water ethically and financially. Always try to be honest and have integrity as your focal point. You will go far. If you are young there are many young Black people walking around with no hope & feeling left out, distraught and angry. They need the gift of your leadership. It will give them sustenance and purpose. With a little help they can begin to have hope and inspiration. But always remember to be as authentic and real as possible with what you are doing, saying and projecting to our people... Good luck and God’s speed if you choose to take on this mission… You will need both…
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Listen to That Quiet Godly Voice...
Listen to that Quiet, Godly voice Inside—That Place Inside of You That Says--``Wait’’…..
Stop vetoing GOD!! Before you pick up a gun or a knife or hit someone with a clinched fist, reach out to someone who needs help & is a lot worse off than yourself. You will heal the two of you. Listen to that quiet Godly place inside of you before you do the wrong thing and mess up a situation for yourself that will have a lasting and profound impact on your future & possibly the future of your family and close friends. Before you take that snort or hit of illegal drugs; before you break the law (they catch and kill criminals everyday in North America); before you have a careless affair; before you don’t use a condom; before you curse at your children & tell them you have no time for them; before you criticize--listen to God, truly, deeply & see what the sister has to say. Talk to a pastor; a good friend; a lover; a mindful, thoughtful, respected relative—before you decide to do something desperate, silly, ridiculous or empty-headed. Before you do something rash, get psychiatric help. There is no shame in it if it saves your life—and it might well save your life and someone else’s. There is always an alternative to doing something dumb, quick, off the cuff or hot tempered. Take your time & think before you do something. Think it over and REALLY look at some alternatives…You are worth the time… You are worth the wait… Think in terms of achieving, getting educated, taking the right path & the high road and being loving, caring & giving. Revenge, hatred, deceit and reception are NOT for real African people… You are mimicking something that really does not run in your African family line… Don’t just think of how to get over or get even, how to abuse others and how to bend and break the law. We can and will do better when we can begin to think more clearly as individuals and as a community of people. When we can take that positive attitude and put it into action we will really get somewhere!! We are already advanced—just look at our Presidential candidate as opposed to some of what has run and even won in the recent past!! Like Spike Lee says, do the right thing and instill the right things in your children and your grand children. Be ethical and upstanding. Not decadent, judgmental & hateful. Don’t accept second rate in yourself or the people around you. Don’t accept second or third rate in your employees, in your family or in your friends. Expect the best. Get the best. Be the best!! We have come a long way and there is no turning back now. We are on the road to progress. We just need a little help from the God within to make us bolder, better, more courageous and more even-tempered and to make us think before we act… Get GOD on your side and keep her there…
Stop vetoing GOD!! Before you pick up a gun or a knife or hit someone with a clinched fist, reach out to someone who needs help & is a lot worse off than yourself. You will heal the two of you. Listen to that quiet Godly place inside of you before you do the wrong thing and mess up a situation for yourself that will have a lasting and profound impact on your future & possibly the future of your family and close friends. Before you take that snort or hit of illegal drugs; before you break the law (they catch and kill criminals everyday in North America); before you have a careless affair; before you don’t use a condom; before you curse at your children & tell them you have no time for them; before you criticize--listen to God, truly, deeply & see what the sister has to say. Talk to a pastor; a good friend; a lover; a mindful, thoughtful, respected relative—before you decide to do something desperate, silly, ridiculous or empty-headed. Before you do something rash, get psychiatric help. There is no shame in it if it saves your life—and it might well save your life and someone else’s. There is always an alternative to doing something dumb, quick, off the cuff or hot tempered. Take your time & think before you do something. Think it over and REALLY look at some alternatives…You are worth the time… You are worth the wait… Think in terms of achieving, getting educated, taking the right path & the high road and being loving, caring & giving. Revenge, hatred, deceit and reception are NOT for real African people… You are mimicking something that really does not run in your African family line… Don’t just think of how to get over or get even, how to abuse others and how to bend and break the law. We can and will do better when we can begin to think more clearly as individuals and as a community of people. When we can take that positive attitude and put it into action we will really get somewhere!! We are already advanced—just look at our Presidential candidate as opposed to some of what has run and even won in the recent past!! Like Spike Lee says, do the right thing and instill the right things in your children and your grand children. Be ethical and upstanding. Not decadent, judgmental & hateful. Don’t accept second rate in yourself or the people around you. Don’t accept second or third rate in your employees, in your family or in your friends. Expect the best. Get the best. Be the best!! We have come a long way and there is no turning back now. We are on the road to progress. We just need a little help from the God within to make us bolder, better, more courageous and more even-tempered and to make us think before we act… Get GOD on your side and keep her there…
Strengthening Through Looking at our Differences...
Strengthening!!
The Gay Community Vs. The Same Gender Loving Community, A Conflict in More Than Just Terms….
By Brother Tracy Gibson…
I think that The Black Community has a tendency to lump Black Same Gender Loving people together in the same boat with White Gay people. This is a mistake. It is also unfair and it has a tendency to create a skewed vision and idea of what being ``in the life’’ is really like for Black SGL people in the Philadelphia area. It is like saying Black straight people and White straight people live in one big happy family in North America (or Philadelphia specifically) and we all know that is not true.
Black people who are Same Gender Loving tend to have closer family ties, closer ties with the Black church, and be more moderate politically than White Gay people. Black Same Gender Loving people (or SGL people) are more family oriented and exist as a sleeping political Tiger in our midst. While there is a tendency for Black SGL people to want to relate to and interact with White gays and lesbians, the racial divide is still very real in America and shows up in the SGL community as it does in every other part of life in North America.
To start off this discussion, I will give you a definition of what the SGL lifestyle is and how it differs from just being gay:
* En explanation of SGL (Or the Same Gender Loving Lifestyle). White, North American and or European Gay people have a separate economic base in many communities that consist of an exclusionary grouping of White homosexuals that sustains itself in housing, employment and social settings. These groupings are often headed by White homosexual males—and some White lesbians-- who benefit economically from such groups. Very few Black people who are SGL are allowed to enter this privileged private club and private economic existence. Black SGL people are often welcomed into their own Black families more and allowed to thrive inside and outside of their Back families in separate Black SGL groupings such as social groups, church groups, Civic Organizations, support groups and such. These Black SGL groupings have very little—but sometimes growing—economic power among themselves. Black SGL people are very often much better off organizing among themselves and within the Black community than among White gays who do NOT have their best interest at heart. The term Same Gender Loving is a more folksy, community oriented and generally accepted term (from the West Coast of the United States) that helps stimulate conversation and develop bridges and relationships that will be harder to organize around and relate to and with by using the term GAY. SGL is getting to be a more accepted term among us as Black people. Plus, the down low syndrome has caused men who have sex with men and who are Black to NOT want the term GAY applied to them. Such men are often bi-sexual and or just adverse to White Gay culture which they find obtuse to their innate spiritual African existence. They and other SGL Blacks often find the term GAY and Queer to be excessive, exclusive, dividing, odd, racist, discriminatory, derogatory & closed socially & economically. They are terms that don’t build bridges in our community and we need bridges. Many everyday SGL Black men and women have this same view of Gay North American & European culture that is held by the dominate Black community—yet they (We SGL Brothers and Sisters) still exist among and within our Black community. It is important to differentiate these views from basic, blanket charges of homophobia because some of these views against GAY White culture are legitimate and well grounded. For example, many White GAYS live in an exclusive, wealthy, racist world and have little use for reaching out and creating ``diversity’’ by bridging with other groups such as Black people.
* * * * * * * *
Let’s take Philadelphia as a case study since I have lived there for over 30 years and have intermingled with both the Black Same Gender Loving community and the White Gay community on many occasions.
In Philadelphia there is a section called the ``Gayborhood.’’ It roughly stretches from front street in the East to about 23rd Street in the West and from about South Street in the south to about Arch Street in the north. This is where a great preponderance of White Gay people live. Many of them also work there. It is the heart and soul of Philadelphia’s Center City and is full of businesses and establishments such as City Hall, the Police Headquarters Building and many municipal buildings as well as many stores such as Macy’s (In the old John Wanamaker’s Building), and the Gallery shopping mall. While this area has it’s problems, many people from all of Philadelphia work there because so many businesses are located there.
Within the ``Gayborhood’’ you will find many independent cases of discrimination against Black Same Gender Loving people. In fact, there are so many cases of discrimination; you can definitely say there is a pattern of discrimination and that that pattern has a real and devastating impact of Black SGL people… These people, (my Black Same Gender Loving Brothers and Sisters) find themselves with less education, less economic opportunities and less land ownership than their White counterparts. The Black SGL people come to the ``Gayborhood’’ to visit and spend their money—rarely to stay. If they do live there they are renters. Very, very few Black people own land, rent an apartment or own a condo or business property in Center City Philadelphia.
While White Gays are also not the dominate class of property owners, they do have many, many apartments and some home ownership and business ownership in the area. What businesses they do own rarely hire Black people as employees. They prefer instead to hire other White Gay people. Blacks are basically looked upon as a necessary ``problem’’ from which to extract a percentage of their bottom line and or profit from.
Most of the Gay restaurants in the area are owned by older White Gay males. They have, in a general sense, worked hard for their money at high-paying jobs or inherited the money it took for them to get the business. Some may have Bank loans, but I have to admit that even they have faced discrimination from the banking system and the financial institutions—but that’s another story.
There was a Gay Italian club owner back in the 1970’s through the 1990’s who owned just about EVERY ``Black’’ SGL nightclub that opened in Center City. Black SGL men and, to a lesser degree, Black SGL women frequented his clubs and made him very wealthy over the years. The few clubs that opened that were owned by Blacks were opened in other parts of the city. This is because property ownership along with the upkeep of property, the taxes, the licenses for liquor and the other fees for keeping things running (both legal and sometimes under the table or illegal) can be quite high for a nightclub. The clubs that were owned by Black SGL people were in West or North Philadelphia—which is where most Black people in Philadelphia live. Many Black also live in the Germantown and Mount Airy.
The economic disparity that runs so long and deep within Main Stream life in North America also runs equally deep within the so-called Gay and or SGL community of the city.
There was a community center for Gay people in Philadelphia in the 1980’s called Penguin Place. It ended up being more of a Polar Bear Place because it was rarely frequented by Blacks who felt left out of the programs that were instituted for the center and also left out of the leadership positions and posts for the center.
Today there is the William Way Community Center, near Broad and Spruce Streets, which has faired better at being more inclusive in their programs and incorporating diversity into their leadership and mission. However, I know of at least one person who left a leadership position because they just ``wouldn’t listen’’ to the voices and cries from Black SGL people.
What I’m getting at is while we have a Black President, nothing much has changed for the average Black SGL person in Philadelphia who generally works for a White-owned for-profit company in the Center City area or in the Suburbs. This person’s income goes right from his hands, generally speaking, and right back to the White establishment… Few of us make much of an effort to advocate for a Black hotel in Philadelphia or more Black businesses let alone go out of our way to find out where the Black businesses are and support them.
Usually during Kwanzaa there is an effort to get people to shop at Black stores, but this year (2009) I didn’t even see much effort in that regard.
I’m not trying to paint a gloomy picture, I’m trying to get at the truth. There are some bright examples of hope in Philadelphia. There is a Gay Book Store in Philadelphia that seems to hire some Blacks and carry several Black SGL titles by Black authors. The Owner or Giovanni’s Room must be singled out for commendation for his valiant efforts at diversity and inclusion because it is such a rarity in Philadelphia. Most Gay and SGL people in Philadelphia are so busy trying to make it and pay increasing rents and mortgages, living costs and car upkeep that they spend little time thinking about an exotic issue such as inclusion.
Another thing that is good in Philadelphia is that it is a city of fine educational facilities such as Temple University, University of Pennsylvania (the largest employer in the City topping even the City of Philadelphia itself in the number of employees it has) and Drexel University. There are many other institutions of higher learning including Community College, which has two and four-year degrees and is quite competitive and offers lower tuitions and more readily accessible financial aid. Many Black people go to community college and Temple and do well. The cost for tuition at U of P is unheard of and out of reach for many Black people.
The education system in Philadelphia is not too good. Sorry to say, but it is true. This is why many Black people don’t excel. They are not prepared to achieve in the more demanding and technical school settings of today and tomorrow. .. That includes Black SGL people. We have a tendency slack off in school because we often find school curriculums uninteresting, boring and lackluster. Often the History Books are old and do not include many stories about us as Black people. Black people don’t have much to say about school curriculums either, which shows where the vicious cycle starts and ends. If there are not many Progressive Blacks making up and tending to the curriculums who have real & lasting decision making power, the students end up less interested in their studies and often drop out of school, get into street life, the drug and so forth. Such youngsters, and there are a number of SGL youth involved with them, also may have a weak or non existent family structure with no Dad (he might be absent or in jail) and or a Mom who is herself strung out on drugs, irresponsible or just too busy to do the right things for her children…
So many SGL youth turn to the street life, vouging (a form of Club dancing) or just hanging out. There are unheard of numbers of Black youth who are SGL and who have found nothing much to do but dance at the clubs, have sex (often unprotected) and act out in other ways that are considered by old folks like me to be irresponsible.
Enter groups like the Colours Organization and BEBASHI to enlighten, bring some clarity and keep people interested in something positive. (Both groups are located in rented building space in or near the Center City Area). BEBASHI stands for Black Educating Blacks About Sexual Health Issues. They were started in the 1980’s and have spread the good word about HIV and AIDS to many Black SGL people even as the rates have risen in the Black community. Colours has a support group for men that helps them deal with important issues like the discrimination and the feeling of being ``locked out’’ described earlier in this section. Colours also has several other programs, meetings and events that help stimulate discussion, build bridges and help build a better sense of community for Black SGL men and women (and transgendered people) in the Philadelphia area.
Recently, in fact, The Colours Organization had a meeting that was quite well attended & successful that brought together older and younger SGL men and women to discuss their differences and to give the younger people some hope and resilience in troubled times.
The White Gay community has lessened their HIV / AIDS numbers in recent years. My theory is that many of the problems faced in the Black SGL community are because of a lack of real community. They are also light years ahead of us in economic development… Among Black SGL people, there is a lack of ownership of the means of production that any community needs to thrive; and a lack of Capital and a meaningful, workable & cohesive plan to make things better. Ownership of real estate, businesses and a real PLAN FOR THE FUTURE would go a long way in determining a better future for Black SGL men and women (and transgendered people) in the Philadelphia area. My theory is that any economic gains by the Black SGL community will be connected to political, social and economic gains for the entire Black community. This is where the divide happens because Black people want that to happen, but most Whites are still threatened by any such gain among Blacks. That points to the reasons why we have to take our economic, spiritual, social and political awakening and renewal upon ourselves—no one else will do it for us. It can start with something small like going to the corner Black grocery store (if you can find one) more often and buying more items from Black stores. (Please check out Chapter 13 about Black economic development).
The Gay Community Vs. The Same Gender Loving Community, A Conflict in More Than Just Terms….
By Brother Tracy Gibson…
I think that The Black Community has a tendency to lump Black Same Gender Loving people together in the same boat with White Gay people. This is a mistake. It is also unfair and it has a tendency to create a skewed vision and idea of what being ``in the life’’ is really like for Black SGL people in the Philadelphia area. It is like saying Black straight people and White straight people live in one big happy family in North America (or Philadelphia specifically) and we all know that is not true.
Black people who are Same Gender Loving tend to have closer family ties, closer ties with the Black church, and be more moderate politically than White Gay people. Black Same Gender Loving people (or SGL people) are more family oriented and exist as a sleeping political Tiger in our midst. While there is a tendency for Black SGL people to want to relate to and interact with White gays and lesbians, the racial divide is still very real in America and shows up in the SGL community as it does in every other part of life in North America.
To start off this discussion, I will give you a definition of what the SGL lifestyle is and how it differs from just being gay:
* En explanation of SGL (Or the Same Gender Loving Lifestyle). White, North American and or European Gay people have a separate economic base in many communities that consist of an exclusionary grouping of White homosexuals that sustains itself in housing, employment and social settings. These groupings are often headed by White homosexual males—and some White lesbians-- who benefit economically from such groups. Very few Black people who are SGL are allowed to enter this privileged private club and private economic existence. Black SGL people are often welcomed into their own Black families more and allowed to thrive inside and outside of their Back families in separate Black SGL groupings such as social groups, church groups, Civic Organizations, support groups and such. These Black SGL groupings have very little—but sometimes growing—economic power among themselves. Black SGL people are very often much better off organizing among themselves and within the Black community than among White gays who do NOT have their best interest at heart. The term Same Gender Loving is a more folksy, community oriented and generally accepted term (from the West Coast of the United States) that helps stimulate conversation and develop bridges and relationships that will be harder to organize around and relate to and with by using the term GAY. SGL is getting to be a more accepted term among us as Black people. Plus, the down low syndrome has caused men who have sex with men and who are Black to NOT want the term GAY applied to them. Such men are often bi-sexual and or just adverse to White Gay culture which they find obtuse to their innate spiritual African existence. They and other SGL Blacks often find the term GAY and Queer to be excessive, exclusive, dividing, odd, racist, discriminatory, derogatory & closed socially & economically. They are terms that don’t build bridges in our community and we need bridges. Many everyday SGL Black men and women have this same view of Gay North American & European culture that is held by the dominate Black community—yet they (We SGL Brothers and Sisters) still exist among and within our Black community. It is important to differentiate these views from basic, blanket charges of homophobia because some of these views against GAY White culture are legitimate and well grounded. For example, many White GAYS live in an exclusive, wealthy, racist world and have little use for reaching out and creating ``diversity’’ by bridging with other groups such as Black people.
* * * * * * * *
Let’s take Philadelphia as a case study since I have lived there for over 30 years and have intermingled with both the Black Same Gender Loving community and the White Gay community on many occasions.
In Philadelphia there is a section called the ``Gayborhood.’’ It roughly stretches from front street in the East to about 23rd Street in the West and from about South Street in the south to about Arch Street in the north. This is where a great preponderance of White Gay people live. Many of them also work there. It is the heart and soul of Philadelphia’s Center City and is full of businesses and establishments such as City Hall, the Police Headquarters Building and many municipal buildings as well as many stores such as Macy’s (In the old John Wanamaker’s Building), and the Gallery shopping mall. While this area has it’s problems, many people from all of Philadelphia work there because so many businesses are located there.
Within the ``Gayborhood’’ you will find many independent cases of discrimination against Black Same Gender Loving people. In fact, there are so many cases of discrimination; you can definitely say there is a pattern of discrimination and that that pattern has a real and devastating impact of Black SGL people… These people, (my Black Same Gender Loving Brothers and Sisters) find themselves with less education, less economic opportunities and less land ownership than their White counterparts. The Black SGL people come to the ``Gayborhood’’ to visit and spend their money—rarely to stay. If they do live there they are renters. Very, very few Black people own land, rent an apartment or own a condo or business property in Center City Philadelphia.
While White Gays are also not the dominate class of property owners, they do have many, many apartments and some home ownership and business ownership in the area. What businesses they do own rarely hire Black people as employees. They prefer instead to hire other White Gay people. Blacks are basically looked upon as a necessary ``problem’’ from which to extract a percentage of their bottom line and or profit from.
Most of the Gay restaurants in the area are owned by older White Gay males. They have, in a general sense, worked hard for their money at high-paying jobs or inherited the money it took for them to get the business. Some may have Bank loans, but I have to admit that even they have faced discrimination from the banking system and the financial institutions—but that’s another story.
There was a Gay Italian club owner back in the 1970’s through the 1990’s who owned just about EVERY ``Black’’ SGL nightclub that opened in Center City. Black SGL men and, to a lesser degree, Black SGL women frequented his clubs and made him very wealthy over the years. The few clubs that opened that were owned by Blacks were opened in other parts of the city. This is because property ownership along with the upkeep of property, the taxes, the licenses for liquor and the other fees for keeping things running (both legal and sometimes under the table or illegal) can be quite high for a nightclub. The clubs that were owned by Black SGL people were in West or North Philadelphia—which is where most Black people in Philadelphia live. Many Black also live in the Germantown and Mount Airy.
The economic disparity that runs so long and deep within Main Stream life in North America also runs equally deep within the so-called Gay and or SGL community of the city.
There was a community center for Gay people in Philadelphia in the 1980’s called Penguin Place. It ended up being more of a Polar Bear Place because it was rarely frequented by Blacks who felt left out of the programs that were instituted for the center and also left out of the leadership positions and posts for the center.
Today there is the William Way Community Center, near Broad and Spruce Streets, which has faired better at being more inclusive in their programs and incorporating diversity into their leadership and mission. However, I know of at least one person who left a leadership position because they just ``wouldn’t listen’’ to the voices and cries from Black SGL people.
What I’m getting at is while we have a Black President, nothing much has changed for the average Black SGL person in Philadelphia who generally works for a White-owned for-profit company in the Center City area or in the Suburbs. This person’s income goes right from his hands, generally speaking, and right back to the White establishment… Few of us make much of an effort to advocate for a Black hotel in Philadelphia or more Black businesses let alone go out of our way to find out where the Black businesses are and support them.
Usually during Kwanzaa there is an effort to get people to shop at Black stores, but this year (2009) I didn’t even see much effort in that regard.
I’m not trying to paint a gloomy picture, I’m trying to get at the truth. There are some bright examples of hope in Philadelphia. There is a Gay Book Store in Philadelphia that seems to hire some Blacks and carry several Black SGL titles by Black authors. The Owner or Giovanni’s Room must be singled out for commendation for his valiant efforts at diversity and inclusion because it is such a rarity in Philadelphia. Most Gay and SGL people in Philadelphia are so busy trying to make it and pay increasing rents and mortgages, living costs and car upkeep that they spend little time thinking about an exotic issue such as inclusion.
Another thing that is good in Philadelphia is that it is a city of fine educational facilities such as Temple University, University of Pennsylvania (the largest employer in the City topping even the City of Philadelphia itself in the number of employees it has) and Drexel University. There are many other institutions of higher learning including Community College, which has two and four-year degrees and is quite competitive and offers lower tuitions and more readily accessible financial aid. Many Black people go to community college and Temple and do well. The cost for tuition at U of P is unheard of and out of reach for many Black people.
The education system in Philadelphia is not too good. Sorry to say, but it is true. This is why many Black people don’t excel. They are not prepared to achieve in the more demanding and technical school settings of today and tomorrow. .. That includes Black SGL people. We have a tendency slack off in school because we often find school curriculums uninteresting, boring and lackluster. Often the History Books are old and do not include many stories about us as Black people. Black people don’t have much to say about school curriculums either, which shows where the vicious cycle starts and ends. If there are not many Progressive Blacks making up and tending to the curriculums who have real & lasting decision making power, the students end up less interested in their studies and often drop out of school, get into street life, the drug and so forth. Such youngsters, and there are a number of SGL youth involved with them, also may have a weak or non existent family structure with no Dad (he might be absent or in jail) and or a Mom who is herself strung out on drugs, irresponsible or just too busy to do the right things for her children…
So many SGL youth turn to the street life, vouging (a form of Club dancing) or just hanging out. There are unheard of numbers of Black youth who are SGL and who have found nothing much to do but dance at the clubs, have sex (often unprotected) and act out in other ways that are considered by old folks like me to be irresponsible.
Enter groups like the Colours Organization and BEBASHI to enlighten, bring some clarity and keep people interested in something positive. (Both groups are located in rented building space in or near the Center City Area). BEBASHI stands for Black Educating Blacks About Sexual Health Issues. They were started in the 1980’s and have spread the good word about HIV and AIDS to many Black SGL people even as the rates have risen in the Black community. Colours has a support group for men that helps them deal with important issues like the discrimination and the feeling of being ``locked out’’ described earlier in this section. Colours also has several other programs, meetings and events that help stimulate discussion, build bridges and help build a better sense of community for Black SGL men and women (and transgendered people) in the Philadelphia area.
Recently, in fact, The Colours Organization had a meeting that was quite well attended & successful that brought together older and younger SGL men and women to discuss their differences and to give the younger people some hope and resilience in troubled times.
The White Gay community has lessened their HIV / AIDS numbers in recent years. My theory is that many of the problems faced in the Black SGL community are because of a lack of real community. They are also light years ahead of us in economic development… Among Black SGL people, there is a lack of ownership of the means of production that any community needs to thrive; and a lack of Capital and a meaningful, workable & cohesive plan to make things better. Ownership of real estate, businesses and a real PLAN FOR THE FUTURE would go a long way in determining a better future for Black SGL men and women (and transgendered people) in the Philadelphia area. My theory is that any economic gains by the Black SGL community will be connected to political, social and economic gains for the entire Black community. This is where the divide happens because Black people want that to happen, but most Whites are still threatened by any such gain among Blacks. That points to the reasons why we have to take our economic, spiritual, social and political awakening and renewal upon ourselves—no one else will do it for us. It can start with something small like going to the corner Black grocery store (if you can find one) more often and buying more items from Black stores. (Please check out Chapter 13 about Black economic development).
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
LOVING OURSELVES...
Loving Ourselves, Loving Each Other—Winning the War on Love Among Us Through Authentic Love and Being Real…
By Brother Tracy Gibson
Let’s be real. There is a Love-War going on among Black people (internally & externally) in the United States. That Love-War is costing us, as Black Americans, lives, opportunity, resources, manpower & goodwill. It is definitely holding us back. It is unnatural for us as Africans and it needs to end and end soon...
What is a Love-War and how are we losing out? We are losing out by interpreting things in a strict Judeo-Christian (Or sometimes Muslim) way like many of our traditional Christian Pastors and Muslim Ministers are doing. The Love-War is about the hatred on the lips & in the hearts & minds of some of our Ministers & Preachers when they talk about an abused & wasted resource in our community—our Black Same Gender Loving (SGL)* people who are still sometimes inappropriately called GAY.
These views and feelings must be differentiated from simple homophobia, but are deeply held and will most likely take generations to correct. They are held internally in our own views as SGL Brothers and Sisters and within the minds of many straight Brothers and Sisters as well.
These negative views of Black SGL people sometimes overlap with negative stereotyping of GAYS in general in North America, but it is possible to clear things up a bit, and I will try here. Also: there are external views held by institutions in North America (such as our judicial system, the media and the United State’s educational system) that are against Black SGL people as well as GAYS in general. Unfortunately, some of those views are grounded and need to be addressed openly in the marketplace of ideas—not ignored or acted out against emotionally.
Many Black SGL people are loving, giving, responsible, church-attending, spiritual, vibrant, employed, working, caring, & emotionally stable. Many are also important factors in our community becoming more viable & resilient to the systematic economic persecution that we as Black people have to deal with everyday. What is Systematic Economic Persecution? Unemployment, homelessness, gentrification, underemployment, hopelessness, lack of education and mis-education are often called issues but are actually part of the system and can be eradicated by us over time, but only if we take the right path as a people… These issues, I contend, are actually a system of Systematic Economic Persecution against our Black community.
Moreover, these ``issues’’ –as some call them--continue to plague us as they are inflicted on us individually (By the Dominant Media, the Judicial system, and other powerful aspects of the political malady called U.S. ``democracy’’ such as the church and our educational system) and on our collective community of Black people—often by some of the same sources...
While those sources of power have remained outside of our control, the solutions to all this institutionally enforced mayhem are like the power of Dorothy’s little red shoes. The solutions are very valuable, but each of us holds them inside us.
The Love-War is also going on in our minds as Black SGL people ourselves because we continue to question ourselves instead of realizing we are a vital part of our Black community and our community’s liberation, and as such, can and do serve as teachers, leaders, pastors (yes Pastors), lawyers & sometimes gifted & respected elders & Black community leaders & organizers.
Our SGL people are sometimes also almost heinous and or over indulgent in their sexual exploits—this does NOT mean they can’t be retrained on a mass level to think differently about their sexuality and it also does NOT mean they can’t be more accessible as financial contributors and volunteers (even in hard economic times). Our progressive churches, and our needy institutions such as, yes, Day Care Centers, churches and our sometimes vital Civic, political and or charitable organizations can benefit greatly from more involvement from and support from Black SGL people.
But the Black community in general has to lay down its arms of hatred, and repugnance to begin to dismiss some of the homo-haters in the news media who love to fan this issue with lighter fluid and foolishness. We have to be real and come together—at least to elect another Democratic President and this time it will be a Black man we will be denying the White House and the Oval Office to if we don’t at least come together to vote in Barack Obama. (Thank God we were able to at least achieve this—now we have to keep the pressure on him to consistently do the right things!!). Now, check that out!! We need the love power (That Jesus talked about, & exemplified so vividly & lovingly in the Bible & through his life & life’s work) to flow through, in and around us before we lose this golden opportunity that is at our front door…. That Golden Opportunity is not just the election of President Obama, but also the will, knowledge and acceptance of the fact that we have to keep the pressure on him at all times to get what we want… That is, those ``issues’’ dealt with in a clear, consistent and concise manner all throughout his first term and (if there is one) his second term.
How do we win this internal and external Love-War among and within our Community? By having enough love to dedicate ourselves towards our collective well being. By ending the persecution of each other---and ourselves--as a body of Black people and as individuals. By having enough love to know that we must heal ourselves before we can heal each other. By stopping the hatred of ourselves and of ANYONE else including Whites or Europeans no matter what they do or lead us to do to ourselves!! How else?--by finding the money to heal ourselves in ways other than begging from that White man and his often destructive system. (Now that’s a big one.!) By having enough nerve and courage and by reaching out enough to understand people within our race who have walked a completely different path than we as individuals might have. By having the knowledge to work towards building an effective internal economy for Black people nationally and by understanding that that economy may have to be physically protected and kept secret for an extended period. We build that love and stop our internal and external Love-War by thinking everyday about our liberation—not just our survival as a consumer class of people. When we are so often guided by the Bling, Bling phenomena (which we partially created and get over excited about), we continue to fail and find ourselves manipulated as we fall over ourselves questing for false riches. By knowing this whole process is going to take generations, not just years, we become empowered. By being willing to work towards understanding and knowledge WE ARE ALSO EMPOWERED!! These steps are keys to our lasting empowerment.
All that sounds like just a bunch of lofty theoretical ideas, but we know that ideas are very powerful things. All of us were an idea at the outset—either in the front or back of our parent’s minds—even if we are the result of rape, incest or a joining without the advent of a plan or matrimony. The small kernel of an idea was there, I believe, early on. Everything originated as an idea.
How do we grasp onto these ideas in some small, workable way and make all this as easy as walking and talking? That is what we must do and I think almost all of us Black folk in the U.S. are already doing this to an extent. Spike Lee told us 20 years ago to ``Do The Right Thing’’ and many of us have been. It just isn’t getting through to us over mass media that that IS what we are doing. Yes, we still kill, rob, hate and abuse each other. But we also love one another in many, many different ways. Who do you call when you are in crisis? Probably a family member or close Black friend regardless of whether he or she is straight or Same Gender Loving.
I hope you will log onto my Web page (or read, share and buy this book) and discover how to get involved and at what level to begin to make a difference for each of us individually and as a race of hard working, loving people. We are not all misguided and hopeless. We can be and many of us are already most of the things we should be—responsible, hard working, loving, reliable, educated, tactful, religious and or spiritual, focused, intelligent and did I say HARD WORKING!! Don’t let anyone tell you that Black people don’t work hard!! Check out WWW.BTGANDA.COM and awaken your dreams as they become reality.
Finally, remember, hatred, along any lines (even reactive hatred) & discrimination against GAY or SGL people like that held by much of the ``larger’’, mostly White American social order does not work well for Africans on the Continent of Africa nor African Americans in regards to Black SGL people—regardless of what people like even a Farrakhan want us to believe. My theory is that Black people are acting out learned behavior, not ``being real’’ when they hate. The two aspects (hatred of Black SGL people among Blacks and hatred of GAYS among Whites) are NOT at all parallel—except on the surface. But the general media is not going to analyze this because they don’t want to and don’t even know how to. They make too much profit from keeping the heated debate going. Even our so-called liberal education system is too stuck in Judeo-Christian thought to break away from Homo-hatred and think outside the box as is often needed to survive as a sane person in American culture. Being anti-human, hateful & discriminatory is NOT African in spirit or nature. Black SGL people can also be ethical & helpful to our struggle as a people, but we have to put down the weapons of war such as persecution, hatred, & discrimination while building those sometimes not-so-easily constructed bridges of hope, Justice & understanding. It ain’t easy, but it’s got to be done.
* En explanation of SGL (Or the Same Gender Loving Lifestyle). White, American and or European Gay people have a separate economic base in many communities that consist of an exclusionary grouping of White homosexuals that sustains itself in housing, employment and social settings. These groupings are often headed by White homosexual males—and some White lesbians-- who benefit economically from such groups. Very few Black people who are SGL are allowed to enter this privileged private club and private economic existence. Black SGL people are often welcomed into their own Black families more and allowed to thrive inside and outside of their Back families in separate Black SGL groupings such as social groups, church groups, Civic Organizations, support groups and such. These Black SGL groupings have very little—but sometimes growing—economic power among themselves. Black SGL people are very often much better off organizing among themselves and within the Black community than among White gays who do NOT have their best interest at heart. The term Same Gender Loving is a more folksy, community oriented and generally accepted term (from the West Coast of the United States) that helps stimulate conversation and develop bridges and relationships that will be harder to organize around and relate to and with by using the term GAY. SGL is getting to be a more accepted term among us as Black people. Plus, the down low syndrome has caused men who have sex with men and who are Black to NOT want the term GAY applied to them. Such men are often bi-sexual and or just adverse to White Gay culture which they find obtuse to their innate spiritual African existence. They and other SGL Blacks often find the term GAY and Queer to be excessive, exclusive, dividing, odd, racist, discriminatory & closed socially & economically. They are terms that don’t build bridges in our community and we need bridges. Many everyday SGL Black men and women have this same view of Gay American & European culture that is held by the dominate Black community—yet they (We SGL Brothers and Sisters) still exist among and within our community. It is important to differentiate these views from basic, blanket charges of homophobia because some of these views against GAY White culture are legitimate and well grounded. For example, many White GAYS live in an exclusive, wealthy, racist world and have little use for reaching out and creating ``diversity.’’
[The Writer wants to thank the countless authors of many Black books, his therapist, his parents, friends and other family members and his other independent reading as well as God for giving him the life experience to formulate this article and many others.]
By Brother Tracy Gibson
Let’s be real. There is a Love-War going on among Black people (internally & externally) in the United States. That Love-War is costing us, as Black Americans, lives, opportunity, resources, manpower & goodwill. It is definitely holding us back. It is unnatural for us as Africans and it needs to end and end soon...
What is a Love-War and how are we losing out? We are losing out by interpreting things in a strict Judeo-Christian (Or sometimes Muslim) way like many of our traditional Christian Pastors and Muslim Ministers are doing. The Love-War is about the hatred on the lips & in the hearts & minds of some of our Ministers & Preachers when they talk about an abused & wasted resource in our community—our Black Same Gender Loving (SGL)* people who are still sometimes inappropriately called GAY.
These views and feelings must be differentiated from simple homophobia, but are deeply held and will most likely take generations to correct. They are held internally in our own views as SGL Brothers and Sisters and within the minds of many straight Brothers and Sisters as well.
These negative views of Black SGL people sometimes overlap with negative stereotyping of GAYS in general in North America, but it is possible to clear things up a bit, and I will try here. Also: there are external views held by institutions in North America (such as our judicial system, the media and the United State’s educational system) that are against Black SGL people as well as GAYS in general. Unfortunately, some of those views are grounded and need to be addressed openly in the marketplace of ideas—not ignored or acted out against emotionally.
Many Black SGL people are loving, giving, responsible, church-attending, spiritual, vibrant, employed, working, caring, & emotionally stable. Many are also important factors in our community becoming more viable & resilient to the systematic economic persecution that we as Black people have to deal with everyday. What is Systematic Economic Persecution? Unemployment, homelessness, gentrification, underemployment, hopelessness, lack of education and mis-education are often called issues but are actually part of the system and can be eradicated by us over time, but only if we take the right path as a people… These issues, I contend, are actually a system of Systematic Economic Persecution against our Black community.
Moreover, these ``issues’’ –as some call them--continue to plague us as they are inflicted on us individually (By the Dominant Media, the Judicial system, and other powerful aspects of the political malady called U.S. ``democracy’’ such as the church and our educational system) and on our collective community of Black people—often by some of the same sources...
While those sources of power have remained outside of our control, the solutions to all this institutionally enforced mayhem are like the power of Dorothy’s little red shoes. The solutions are very valuable, but each of us holds them inside us.
The Love-War is also going on in our minds as Black SGL people ourselves because we continue to question ourselves instead of realizing we are a vital part of our Black community and our community’s liberation, and as such, can and do serve as teachers, leaders, pastors (yes Pastors), lawyers & sometimes gifted & respected elders & Black community leaders & organizers.
Our SGL people are sometimes also almost heinous and or over indulgent in their sexual exploits—this does NOT mean they can’t be retrained on a mass level to think differently about their sexuality and it also does NOT mean they can’t be more accessible as financial contributors and volunteers (even in hard economic times). Our progressive churches, and our needy institutions such as, yes, Day Care Centers, churches and our sometimes vital Civic, political and or charitable organizations can benefit greatly from more involvement from and support from Black SGL people.
But the Black community in general has to lay down its arms of hatred, and repugnance to begin to dismiss some of the homo-haters in the news media who love to fan this issue with lighter fluid and foolishness. We have to be real and come together—at least to elect another Democratic President and this time it will be a Black man we will be denying the White House and the Oval Office to if we don’t at least come together to vote in Barack Obama. (Thank God we were able to at least achieve this—now we have to keep the pressure on him to consistently do the right things!!). Now, check that out!! We need the love power (That Jesus talked about, & exemplified so vividly & lovingly in the Bible & through his life & life’s work) to flow through, in and around us before we lose this golden opportunity that is at our front door…. That Golden Opportunity is not just the election of President Obama, but also the will, knowledge and acceptance of the fact that we have to keep the pressure on him at all times to get what we want… That is, those ``issues’’ dealt with in a clear, consistent and concise manner all throughout his first term and (if there is one) his second term.
How do we win this internal and external Love-War among and within our Community? By having enough love to dedicate ourselves towards our collective well being. By ending the persecution of each other---and ourselves--as a body of Black people and as individuals. By having enough love to know that we must heal ourselves before we can heal each other. By stopping the hatred of ourselves and of ANYONE else including Whites or Europeans no matter what they do or lead us to do to ourselves!! How else?--by finding the money to heal ourselves in ways other than begging from that White man and his often destructive system. (Now that’s a big one.!) By having enough nerve and courage and by reaching out enough to understand people within our race who have walked a completely different path than we as individuals might have. By having the knowledge to work towards building an effective internal economy for Black people nationally and by understanding that that economy may have to be physically protected and kept secret for an extended period. We build that love and stop our internal and external Love-War by thinking everyday about our liberation—not just our survival as a consumer class of people. When we are so often guided by the Bling, Bling phenomena (which we partially created and get over excited about), we continue to fail and find ourselves manipulated as we fall over ourselves questing for false riches. By knowing this whole process is going to take generations, not just years, we become empowered. By being willing to work towards understanding and knowledge WE ARE ALSO EMPOWERED!! These steps are keys to our lasting empowerment.
All that sounds like just a bunch of lofty theoretical ideas, but we know that ideas are very powerful things. All of us were an idea at the outset—either in the front or back of our parent’s minds—even if we are the result of rape, incest or a joining without the advent of a plan or matrimony. The small kernel of an idea was there, I believe, early on. Everything originated as an idea.
How do we grasp onto these ideas in some small, workable way and make all this as easy as walking and talking? That is what we must do and I think almost all of us Black folk in the U.S. are already doing this to an extent. Spike Lee told us 20 years ago to ``Do The Right Thing’’ and many of us have been. It just isn’t getting through to us over mass media that that IS what we are doing. Yes, we still kill, rob, hate and abuse each other. But we also love one another in many, many different ways. Who do you call when you are in crisis? Probably a family member or close Black friend regardless of whether he or she is straight or Same Gender Loving.
I hope you will log onto my Web page (or read, share and buy this book) and discover how to get involved and at what level to begin to make a difference for each of us individually and as a race of hard working, loving people. We are not all misguided and hopeless. We can be and many of us are already most of the things we should be—responsible, hard working, loving, reliable, educated, tactful, religious and or spiritual, focused, intelligent and did I say HARD WORKING!! Don’t let anyone tell you that Black people don’t work hard!! Check out WWW.BTGANDA.COM and awaken your dreams as they become reality.
Finally, remember, hatred, along any lines (even reactive hatred) & discrimination against GAY or SGL people like that held by much of the ``larger’’, mostly White American social order does not work well for Africans on the Continent of Africa nor African Americans in regards to Black SGL people—regardless of what people like even a Farrakhan want us to believe. My theory is that Black people are acting out learned behavior, not ``being real’’ when they hate. The two aspects (hatred of Black SGL people among Blacks and hatred of GAYS among Whites) are NOT at all parallel—except on the surface. But the general media is not going to analyze this because they don’t want to and don’t even know how to. They make too much profit from keeping the heated debate going. Even our so-called liberal education system is too stuck in Judeo-Christian thought to break away from Homo-hatred and think outside the box as is often needed to survive as a sane person in American culture. Being anti-human, hateful & discriminatory is NOT African in spirit or nature. Black SGL people can also be ethical & helpful to our struggle as a people, but we have to put down the weapons of war such as persecution, hatred, & discrimination while building those sometimes not-so-easily constructed bridges of hope, Justice & understanding. It ain’t easy, but it’s got to be done.
* En explanation of SGL (Or the Same Gender Loving Lifestyle). White, American and or European Gay people have a separate economic base in many communities that consist of an exclusionary grouping of White homosexuals that sustains itself in housing, employment and social settings. These groupings are often headed by White homosexual males—and some White lesbians-- who benefit economically from such groups. Very few Black people who are SGL are allowed to enter this privileged private club and private economic existence. Black SGL people are often welcomed into their own Black families more and allowed to thrive inside and outside of their Back families in separate Black SGL groupings such as social groups, church groups, Civic Organizations, support groups and such. These Black SGL groupings have very little—but sometimes growing—economic power among themselves. Black SGL people are very often much better off organizing among themselves and within the Black community than among White gays who do NOT have their best interest at heart. The term Same Gender Loving is a more folksy, community oriented and generally accepted term (from the West Coast of the United States) that helps stimulate conversation and develop bridges and relationships that will be harder to organize around and relate to and with by using the term GAY. SGL is getting to be a more accepted term among us as Black people. Plus, the down low syndrome has caused men who have sex with men and who are Black to NOT want the term GAY applied to them. Such men are often bi-sexual and or just adverse to White Gay culture which they find obtuse to their innate spiritual African existence. They and other SGL Blacks often find the term GAY and Queer to be excessive, exclusive, dividing, odd, racist, discriminatory & closed socially & economically. They are terms that don’t build bridges in our community and we need bridges. Many everyday SGL Black men and women have this same view of Gay American & European culture that is held by the dominate Black community—yet they (We SGL Brothers and Sisters) still exist among and within our community. It is important to differentiate these views from basic, blanket charges of homophobia because some of these views against GAY White culture are legitimate and well grounded. For example, many White GAYS live in an exclusive, wealthy, racist world and have little use for reaching out and creating ``diversity.’’
[The Writer wants to thank the countless authors of many Black books, his therapist, his parents, friends and other family members and his other independent reading as well as God for giving him the life experience to formulate this article and many others.]
Homophobia In The Black Community--One Man’s Opinion
The Chief Native American in Charge in the 1970 Dustin Hoffman hit comedy-drama ``Little Big Man’’ called Black people The Black White man. He also said we look better than White people, but are just as stupid. I would like to think things have changed and that we are NOT as stupid, but I have to wonder. We have allowed the Right Wing to wrap the issue of homophobia around the neck of our Black community like a noose & pull out Black votes for Republican ideas & Republican candidates. This has not helped our cause as a people nor has it helped our cause as progressive thinkers and activists.
Have you ever thought about how many Black men remain on the Down Low out of fear of retribution? There are probably many. There is a lot of acceptance of the idea that homosexuality is a threat to the Black family. I don’t believe that. What is a threat to the Black family continues to be homelessness, lack of jobs, White hegemony & White Supremacy. Thousands of Black children remain in adoption centers & adoption homes even as the Down Low issue is finally openly discussed among us. Who should be adopting these children and helping stabilize the Black community through doing so? Black middle income families with few or no children should be. But it’s not happening fast enough. These children need homes. We are not in danger of becoming extinct because of homosexuality & the Down Low. There is a very small minority of people who identify themselves as gay/or Same Gender Loving (SGL) in our community. We may, however, be in danger of losing another national election if this issue is not dealt with in an open & honest fashion. In 2004, Republicans took key states such as Ohio partly by circulating information that drummed up homophobia & sexually oriented hatred. Some gullible Black voters ate it up and helped provide a winning margin for Bush by accepting the ``threat to the family’’ argument on this subject.
Our churches, our colleges & our people in general need to know when & how they are being manipulated and we always need to be concerned when we see ourselves voting along Republican lines over a hot-button issue like sexual orientation or gay marriage. Isn’t this a personal issue anyway? Like Public Enemy said several years ago, ``don’t believe the hype!!’’
If ever there was an issue that was private, this is it. What happened to the Republican hue & cry for privacy and less ``government involvement in our private lives?’’ There is a Republican Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, who was caught in the act in a men’s bathroom several months ago—but you didn’t hear me say anything much about hypocrisy. When political expediency is involved, they don’t worry about orientation so much now do they.
I just ask that we NOT let emotions run too high regarding the issue of homosexuality and homophobia in the Black community... We, as Black people, are a diverse group of Americans. Let’s take time in 2008, 2009 and onward to really consider this issue-- & NOT be manipulated by outside forces such as the Big Racist Goliath Media and the Republicans who have, generally speaking, been hostile towards us as a people, hostile towards our issues and who continue to be so—especially now that we have a Black man as President of the United States…
There are more related articles on www.btganda.com
Contact me at BrotheTracy11@GMail.Com
The Chief Native American in Charge in the 1970 Dustin Hoffman hit comedy-drama ``Little Big Man’’ called Black people The Black White man. He also said we look better than White people, but are just as stupid. I would like to think things have changed and that we are NOT as stupid, but I have to wonder. We have allowed the Right Wing to wrap the issue of homophobia around the neck of our Black community like a noose & pull out Black votes for Republican ideas & Republican candidates. This has not helped our cause as a people nor has it helped our cause as progressive thinkers and activists.
Have you ever thought about how many Black men remain on the Down Low out of fear of retribution? There are probably many. There is a lot of acceptance of the idea that homosexuality is a threat to the Black family. I don’t believe that. What is a threat to the Black family continues to be homelessness, lack of jobs, White hegemony & White Supremacy. Thousands of Black children remain in adoption centers & adoption homes even as the Down Low issue is finally openly discussed among us. Who should be adopting these children and helping stabilize the Black community through doing so? Black middle income families with few or no children should be. But it’s not happening fast enough. These children need homes. We are not in danger of becoming extinct because of homosexuality & the Down Low. There is a very small minority of people who identify themselves as gay/or Same Gender Loving (SGL) in our community. We may, however, be in danger of losing another national election if this issue is not dealt with in an open & honest fashion. In 2004, Republicans took key states such as Ohio partly by circulating information that drummed up homophobia & sexually oriented hatred. Some gullible Black voters ate it up and helped provide a winning margin for Bush by accepting the ``threat to the family’’ argument on this subject.
Our churches, our colleges & our people in general need to know when & how they are being manipulated and we always need to be concerned when we see ourselves voting along Republican lines over a hot-button issue like sexual orientation or gay marriage. Isn’t this a personal issue anyway? Like Public Enemy said several years ago, ``don’t believe the hype!!’’
If ever there was an issue that was private, this is it. What happened to the Republican hue & cry for privacy and less ``government involvement in our private lives?’’ There is a Republican Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, who was caught in the act in a men’s bathroom several months ago—but you didn’t hear me say anything much about hypocrisy. When political expediency is involved, they don’t worry about orientation so much now do they.
I just ask that we NOT let emotions run too high regarding the issue of homosexuality and homophobia in the Black community... We, as Black people, are a diverse group of Americans. Let’s take time in 2008, 2009 and onward to really consider this issue-- & NOT be manipulated by outside forces such as the Big Racist Goliath Media and the Republicans who have, generally speaking, been hostile towards us as a people, hostile towards our issues and who continue to be so—especially now that we have a Black man as President of the United States…
There are more related articles on www.btganda.com
Contact me at BrotheTracy11@GMail.Com
The low down
The Low Down on the down low….
By Brother Tracy Gibson…
What’s the real deal, anyway? What are the numbers of Black women coming down with HIV because their men are running with other men? I will try to get some sample information from BEBASHI (Black Educating Blacks about Sexual Health Issues) an AIDS support, education & information group here in the Philadelphia area.
But first off, let me say a few things about denial—and I’m not talking about that Big River in African from which Black Kings and Black Queens once ruled much of the civilized world. I’m talking about not being real about one’s life situation and honest about what is going on with you. Denying something exists when it is sitting right in your living room like a 5,000 pound elephant—that’s denial. If you are in denial, you know who I’m talking about.
If you are a Black woman and you or your man has come down with HIV you know who I’m talking about. Have you gone to get tested? What were the results? Do you need to start on medication? Was your man in prison recently? (By some estimates some one million Black men are in the Nation’s prison system.) When those Brothers come out they often move right back into the Black communities they came out of. Sometimes they are looking for other Black men for sexual companionship, but often they are looking for sexual companionship with Black women—often the ladies they left behind. Often, also, they have had unprotected sexual intercourse with other Black men while in jail. This is a large part of the reason why there are astronomical rates of Black women coming down with the sex bug. This is no laughing matter. We need our men and women to be healthy and happy and lead productive lives. Certainly one can lead such a responsible life and be HIV positive at the same time, what with the advent of all the different medications and treatments. More people are living longer and making themselves active and responsible and productive members of our Black society and our Black culture. But they need to at least know they are infected so they can face the music and get the help they need. I recently took an HIV test and don’t know the results yet. If they say I’m positive, I to will have to face the music and live the rest of my life as an HIV infected person. It won’t be soft JAZZ at first; it will be crashing loud freaky music because it is not music I want to hear. But face it I will, none the less.
As a Same Gender Loving (or SGL) Brother, I have plenty of friends who have already succumbed to the HIV bug. It has not been an easy life. My best friend in childhood lost his life when he was only 35 or 36 some 15 years ago. That was such a big blow to me that I couldn’t even go to the funeral. I loved him like a brother and his family was not very friendly or open to me wanting pictures of him so I could remember him properly and with dignity & grace. I extended my hand in friendship to his mother, but there was no extending hand of friendship coming back. I understand. It may have just been too much for her. My friend and I were never intimate together. We were just friends, but best friends. That loss blew me away a thousand times. I had to grow older without my best childhood friend just like many of you have lost friends in the Black community to gun shots, hoodlums, illegal drugs, fires, wars, car accidents and HIV. Life ain’t easy in the Black community. One thing that helped me cope with my loss of my good childhood friend was the ADODI Brotherhood. They had a brother with them named ??? who worked with me through that loss at a ADODI Brotherhood retreat. I strongly recommend the ADODI Brotherhood annual retreat for Brothers who are SGL and want to become better men with an ability to deal with more and deeper personal life issues. It ain’t easy work but your life with be richer and more rewarding because of it. I have lost over 20 friends throughout my life. That is part of the reason I work so hard to produce and distribute positive information for our Black people—because I know knowledge is power and we continue to be largely a powerless people without the knowledge we need. Why is this? Because we let people like that simple blabber mouth Wendy Williams of New York tell us how to lead our lives & influence us instead of our brilliant scholars, activists and organizers [such as Maisha Ongoza (a member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League (in Philadelphia) and a children’s advocate); Shahrazad Ali ( A member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League, an author and an education activist); Wesley Wilson-Bey (of Men United Against Violence); J. Wayne Moore (Black Talk Radio sage and activist); and Dr. Tony Monteiro (A Temple University professor).] We let foolish people like Wendy Williams, who White radio and TV producers slap in front of us, tell us what to think and feel instead of going to a meeting on Saturday, August 29, 2009 and listening to a scholarly and in-depth discussion of the life, times and influence of another Black activist, important spiritual leader and vastly important intellectual--Elijah Muhammad founder of the Nation of Islam. (The meeting was held at 1 P.M. at the Berean Institute, 19th and Girard Avenue, in Philadelphia and lasted for four hours).
Wendy Williams was an asinine Radio Talk Show host, on Talk Radio she would talk more trash than I can even mention here. However, she has made a positive transition to TV on BET and her new show has some promise. I was very concerned about Wendy because she was a Black woman who was really NOT a good role model for our Black girls. Fortunately for TV viewers she has made this positive transition, through which she is now advising young parents on how to deal with issues in a more positive, forthright and affirming manner than she was on talk radio. A big shout out and a big ``How You Doin’’ to Wendy and congratulations on presenting a more positive media image and show. If she keeps along this vain she will be a real asset to Black parents and the rest of us…
But I digress. What I wanted to talk about was the down low and how so many Black women are being negatively impacted because of this phenomenon. What is this down low thing anyway? It is Brothers being under cover about their same-sex sexual exploits and having sex with both men and women, but not revealing much about themselves or their sexual backgrounds. That’s what being on the down low is all about. Let’s talk, briefly, if you will, about what is really happening. Some Black men are still having unprotected sex without even wanting the female to have children. They have some strange idea that they will not make their mates pregnant. The heat of the moment takes over and lives are changes and dreams dashed forever. This has sometimes resulted in not only a pregnancy, but also a positive result for HIV for the woman. Black women have to stop falling for the slick, fast-talking Brothers who just want some squeeze and then disappear without a trace. There are ways of making out with much fewer risks. Always demand a condom. There are now female condoms if your man doesn’t want to be responsible and use one. Don’t just have sex on the slide. Make sure you know the person for a few weeks first and that you know what you are entering into. Meet men at church and Mosque instead of the closest Pick-Up bar (These are great ideas for Black Same Gender Loving men as well.)
Another secret to meeting men of essence is following your interests. What do you like to do? Join a professional organization and go to their meetings. Start to network and rub elbows with like-minded people. You will see your circle of friends expand and grow.
Play it safe with sex right off the bat when you meet people and don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your partner or potential partner. If you are poor and don’t have access to condoms there are places like BEBASHI and Philadelphia Fight which give out condoms for free. I have written a paper about the sexual abuse that goes on in prison and how to stop and or curb that abuse and thusly curb some of the increasing levels of Black women and Black men getting the HIV bug. (One of the organizations I work with is planning a conference on Sex in Our Community for the year 2013. There will be some six events leading up to the conference. Contact me about this and find out more at 302.276.2755 or BrotherTracy11@GMail.Com). I have advocated for free and open use of condoms in the Nation’s prison system. Anything less is allowing our men and women to increasingly come down with the HIV bug which can still be deadly. I am not saying that there should be more acceptance of abusive homosexual activity in our prison system, but we can’t gamble with people’s lives and that is exactly what is happening right now the way things are set up in the prison system. I need you to look into this issue more deeply and contact your political, civic, community and religious leaders and write them with your views and opinions—even if they have the opposite views of what mine are, they need to hear from you.
Moreover, the down low is also just not honest. It is taking advantage of women and still having men and not necessarily telling the man about the woman. This is not the behavior that we pledged to Brother-Minister Louis Farrakhan at the original Million Man March in 1995 and it is not being an Authentic Black Man, as described in Chapter 13 of this book.
Tenuous
I KNOW HOW TENUOUS INTIMATE RELATIONS CAN BE!! But a real level of honesty needs to come into play in our sexual and intimate relations as Black people for us to survive and thrive as a genuine, holistic, healed, spiritual and caring race of decent people into the future... So if you are on the down low, think of what you are doing to yourself, your man, your woman and your community before you pull that thing out again and get to work with it.
By Brother Tracy Gibson…
What’s the real deal, anyway? What are the numbers of Black women coming down with HIV because their men are running with other men? I will try to get some sample information from BEBASHI (Black Educating Blacks about Sexual Health Issues) an AIDS support, education & information group here in the Philadelphia area.
But first off, let me say a few things about denial—and I’m not talking about that Big River in African from which Black Kings and Black Queens once ruled much of the civilized world. I’m talking about not being real about one’s life situation and honest about what is going on with you. Denying something exists when it is sitting right in your living room like a 5,000 pound elephant—that’s denial. If you are in denial, you know who I’m talking about.
If you are a Black woman and you or your man has come down with HIV you know who I’m talking about. Have you gone to get tested? What were the results? Do you need to start on medication? Was your man in prison recently? (By some estimates some one million Black men are in the Nation’s prison system.) When those Brothers come out they often move right back into the Black communities they came out of. Sometimes they are looking for other Black men for sexual companionship, but often they are looking for sexual companionship with Black women—often the ladies they left behind. Often, also, they have had unprotected sexual intercourse with other Black men while in jail. This is a large part of the reason why there are astronomical rates of Black women coming down with the sex bug. This is no laughing matter. We need our men and women to be healthy and happy and lead productive lives. Certainly one can lead such a responsible life and be HIV positive at the same time, what with the advent of all the different medications and treatments. More people are living longer and making themselves active and responsible and productive members of our Black society and our Black culture. But they need to at least know they are infected so they can face the music and get the help they need. I recently took an HIV test and don’t know the results yet. If they say I’m positive, I to will have to face the music and live the rest of my life as an HIV infected person. It won’t be soft JAZZ at first; it will be crashing loud freaky music because it is not music I want to hear. But face it I will, none the less.
As a Same Gender Loving (or SGL) Brother, I have plenty of friends who have already succumbed to the HIV bug. It has not been an easy life. My best friend in childhood lost his life when he was only 35 or 36 some 15 years ago. That was such a big blow to me that I couldn’t even go to the funeral. I loved him like a brother and his family was not very friendly or open to me wanting pictures of him so I could remember him properly and with dignity & grace. I extended my hand in friendship to his mother, but there was no extending hand of friendship coming back. I understand. It may have just been too much for her. My friend and I were never intimate together. We were just friends, but best friends. That loss blew me away a thousand times. I had to grow older without my best childhood friend just like many of you have lost friends in the Black community to gun shots, hoodlums, illegal drugs, fires, wars, car accidents and HIV. Life ain’t easy in the Black community. One thing that helped me cope with my loss of my good childhood friend was the ADODI Brotherhood. They had a brother with them named ??? who worked with me through that loss at a ADODI Brotherhood retreat. I strongly recommend the ADODI Brotherhood annual retreat for Brothers who are SGL and want to become better men with an ability to deal with more and deeper personal life issues. It ain’t easy work but your life with be richer and more rewarding because of it. I have lost over 20 friends throughout my life. That is part of the reason I work so hard to produce and distribute positive information for our Black people—because I know knowledge is power and we continue to be largely a powerless people without the knowledge we need. Why is this? Because we let people like that simple blabber mouth Wendy Williams of New York tell us how to lead our lives & influence us instead of our brilliant scholars, activists and organizers [such as Maisha Ongoza (a member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League (in Philadelphia) and a children’s advocate); Shahrazad Ali ( A member and leader of the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League, an author and an education activist); Wesley Wilson-Bey (of Men United Against Violence); J. Wayne Moore (Black Talk Radio sage and activist); and Dr. Tony Monteiro (A Temple University professor).] We let foolish people like Wendy Williams, who White radio and TV producers slap in front of us, tell us what to think and feel instead of going to a meeting on Saturday, August 29, 2009 and listening to a scholarly and in-depth discussion of the life, times and influence of another Black activist, important spiritual leader and vastly important intellectual--Elijah Muhammad founder of the Nation of Islam. (The meeting was held at 1 P.M. at the Berean Institute, 19th and Girard Avenue, in Philadelphia and lasted for four hours).
Wendy Williams was an asinine Radio Talk Show host, on Talk Radio she would talk more trash than I can even mention here. However, she has made a positive transition to TV on BET and her new show has some promise. I was very concerned about Wendy because she was a Black woman who was really NOT a good role model for our Black girls. Fortunately for TV viewers she has made this positive transition, through which she is now advising young parents on how to deal with issues in a more positive, forthright and affirming manner than she was on talk radio. A big shout out and a big ``How You Doin’’ to Wendy and congratulations on presenting a more positive media image and show. If she keeps along this vain she will be a real asset to Black parents and the rest of us…
But I digress. What I wanted to talk about was the down low and how so many Black women are being negatively impacted because of this phenomenon. What is this down low thing anyway? It is Brothers being under cover about their same-sex sexual exploits and having sex with both men and women, but not revealing much about themselves or their sexual backgrounds. That’s what being on the down low is all about. Let’s talk, briefly, if you will, about what is really happening. Some Black men are still having unprotected sex without even wanting the female to have children. They have some strange idea that they will not make their mates pregnant. The heat of the moment takes over and lives are changes and dreams dashed forever. This has sometimes resulted in not only a pregnancy, but also a positive result for HIV for the woman. Black women have to stop falling for the slick, fast-talking Brothers who just want some squeeze and then disappear without a trace. There are ways of making out with much fewer risks. Always demand a condom. There are now female condoms if your man doesn’t want to be responsible and use one. Don’t just have sex on the slide. Make sure you know the person for a few weeks first and that you know what you are entering into. Meet men at church and Mosque instead of the closest Pick-Up bar (These are great ideas for Black Same Gender Loving men as well.)
Another secret to meeting men of essence is following your interests. What do you like to do? Join a professional organization and go to their meetings. Start to network and rub elbows with like-minded people. You will see your circle of friends expand and grow.
Play it safe with sex right off the bat when you meet people and don’t be afraid to talk about sex with your partner or potential partner. If you are poor and don’t have access to condoms there are places like BEBASHI and Philadelphia Fight which give out condoms for free. I have written a paper about the sexual abuse that goes on in prison and how to stop and or curb that abuse and thusly curb some of the increasing levels of Black women and Black men getting the HIV bug. (One of the organizations I work with is planning a conference on Sex in Our Community for the year 2013. There will be some six events leading up to the conference. Contact me about this and find out more at 302.276.2755 or BrotherTracy11@GMail.Com). I have advocated for free and open use of condoms in the Nation’s prison system. Anything less is allowing our men and women to increasingly come down with the HIV bug which can still be deadly. I am not saying that there should be more acceptance of abusive homosexual activity in our prison system, but we can’t gamble with people’s lives and that is exactly what is happening right now the way things are set up in the prison system. I need you to look into this issue more deeply and contact your political, civic, community and religious leaders and write them with your views and opinions—even if they have the opposite views of what mine are, they need to hear from you.
Moreover, the down low is also just not honest. It is taking advantage of women and still having men and not necessarily telling the man about the woman. This is not the behavior that we pledged to Brother-Minister Louis Farrakhan at the original Million Man March in 1995 and it is not being an Authentic Black Man, as described in Chapter 13 of this book.
Tenuous
I KNOW HOW TENUOUS INTIMATE RELATIONS CAN BE!! But a real level of honesty needs to come into play in our sexual and intimate relations as Black people for us to survive and thrive as a genuine, holistic, healed, spiritual and caring race of decent people into the future... So if you are on the down low, think of what you are doing to yourself, your man, your woman and your community before you pull that thing out again and get to work with it.
ADODI
The Adodi Movement…
We were started on a sunny day in May in Philadelphia in 1983. I actually had the same idea simultaneously with the real founder of Adodi, but I didn’t attend the first meeting, which happened long before we were ever really called Adodi. We were Brothers coming together to express our dismay and other raw feelings at seeing so many of our Brothers & friends dying from AIDS / HIV in the early 1980’s. We were beginning to realize what was happening to us. We were being taken by a disease that wasn’t taking any prisoners at the time. We were just losing our lives at a miraculous rate and we wanted comfort, some answers and a safe space to meet, talk & fellowship. The church didn’t provide that space for us. That place was at Clifford Rawlins’ apartment in West Philadelphia, on Springfield Avenue. There were four of us then 10 then 20 then 30. The news of establishing a healing process and the armor to make it through life spread like wild fire across Philadelphia’s SGL community. We were surrounded by the meticulous and ever-improving art work of our founder, mentor and first President—art therapist Clifford Rawlins—a strong Black Same Gender Loving man bent on healing as many Brothers like himself as he could. He knew our pain, sorrow and it was very apparent that he also knew how to bring about something that was desperately needed. We met consistently--weekly on Sunday--and talked about the problems at having to face our lives without people we had come to love and respect as our friends, lovers and Brothers. Eventually we talked about other issues such as: the Black church and homosexuality; the Down Low; our families; our Coming-Our stories; our heartaches. We were a place to meet other Black SGL men and a safe place to seek solace, understanding and usually a warm, home cooked meal prepared by the hands of our founder-n-chief Clifford. We were not only encircled by the art work of our host and founder (Brother Clifford) but also his sometimes cold-water-in-your-face methods of therapeutic healing. ``This is your shit,’’ he would tell us. We all have baggage, we all have issues, he would explain. Because many SGL brothers don’t want to seek professional help when problems become overwhelming—this was a stop gap release eventually called Adodi and eventually spreading to New York City, Chicago, D.C. and other parts of the Nation.
The weekly meetings went on for a year and then it was time for us to try our hand at an annual retreat where some 60 Black SGL men got together and expanded the healing process to other parts of the country. The retreats were a place for growth, love and self discovery. Eventually a Brother named Darrell Waters took the ADODI concept to New York City, where it flourished for years and where it still holds court from time to time. (See the Web Page by looking under www.ADODINewYork.Com). Those brothers fine tuned and honed the concept & the process and would go on to lead many retreats with their hard work and dedication. Philadelphia’s Michael Otis came up with the name after much research, which I helped with. Michael was small in stature, but smart as a whip. He was a sweet young man who had made it through college at Drexel University (Master’s Program) and moved, eventually to California and met someone who he really loved.
Adodi Brothers came up with principles and concepts that helped us all through this experience of being SGL Black men—not easy in a mostly White world that didn’t care about or understand our issues, demands, concerns or feelings and emotions as Black people.
Some Brothers in Adodi felt overexposed. I was one of those. After I gave my coming-out story I couldn’t attend meetings for several years—that’s right--years-- because what I shared was too much—even for me who had been in (and remains in therapy.) So I took a hiatus from ADODI and got more heavily involved in political solutions to what I felt was and still feel is my oppression as a Black man. I would come back and be elected Vice President of ADODI Philadelphia and serve in that capacity for many years. Under Bruce Harvey as president, I would help organize and lead meetings, but none of them held a candle to what Clifford provided in the early days. . . For more information about Adodi, go to Adodi.com or www.AdodiNewYork.com.
.
We were started on a sunny day in May in Philadelphia in 1983. I actually had the same idea simultaneously with the real founder of Adodi, but I didn’t attend the first meeting, which happened long before we were ever really called Adodi. We were Brothers coming together to express our dismay and other raw feelings at seeing so many of our Brothers & friends dying from AIDS / HIV in the early 1980’s. We were beginning to realize what was happening to us. We were being taken by a disease that wasn’t taking any prisoners at the time. We were just losing our lives at a miraculous rate and we wanted comfort, some answers and a safe space to meet, talk & fellowship. The church didn’t provide that space for us. That place was at Clifford Rawlins’ apartment in West Philadelphia, on Springfield Avenue. There were four of us then 10 then 20 then 30. The news of establishing a healing process and the armor to make it through life spread like wild fire across Philadelphia’s SGL community. We were surrounded by the meticulous and ever-improving art work of our founder, mentor and first President—art therapist Clifford Rawlins—a strong Black Same Gender Loving man bent on healing as many Brothers like himself as he could. He knew our pain, sorrow and it was very apparent that he also knew how to bring about something that was desperately needed. We met consistently--weekly on Sunday--and talked about the problems at having to face our lives without people we had come to love and respect as our friends, lovers and Brothers. Eventually we talked about other issues such as: the Black church and homosexuality; the Down Low; our families; our Coming-Our stories; our heartaches. We were a place to meet other Black SGL men and a safe place to seek solace, understanding and usually a warm, home cooked meal prepared by the hands of our founder-n-chief Clifford. We were not only encircled by the art work of our host and founder (Brother Clifford) but also his sometimes cold-water-in-your-face methods of therapeutic healing. ``This is your shit,’’ he would tell us. We all have baggage, we all have issues, he would explain. Because many SGL brothers don’t want to seek professional help when problems become overwhelming—this was a stop gap release eventually called Adodi and eventually spreading to New York City, Chicago, D.C. and other parts of the Nation.
The weekly meetings went on for a year and then it was time for us to try our hand at an annual retreat where some 60 Black SGL men got together and expanded the healing process to other parts of the country. The retreats were a place for growth, love and self discovery. Eventually a Brother named Darrell Waters took the ADODI concept to New York City, where it flourished for years and where it still holds court from time to time. (See the Web Page by looking under www.ADODINewYork.Com). Those brothers fine tuned and honed the concept & the process and would go on to lead many retreats with their hard work and dedication. Philadelphia’s Michael Otis came up with the name after much research, which I helped with. Michael was small in stature, but smart as a whip. He was a sweet young man who had made it through college at Drexel University (Master’s Program) and moved, eventually to California and met someone who he really loved.
Adodi Brothers came up with principles and concepts that helped us all through this experience of being SGL Black men—not easy in a mostly White world that didn’t care about or understand our issues, demands, concerns or feelings and emotions as Black people.
Some Brothers in Adodi felt overexposed. I was one of those. After I gave my coming-out story I couldn’t attend meetings for several years—that’s right--years-- because what I shared was too much—even for me who had been in (and remains in therapy.) So I took a hiatus from ADODI and got more heavily involved in political solutions to what I felt was and still feel is my oppression as a Black man. I would come back and be elected Vice President of ADODI Philadelphia and serve in that capacity for many years. Under Bruce Harvey as president, I would help organize and lead meetings, but none of them held a candle to what Clifford provided in the early days. . . For more information about Adodi, go to Adodi.com or www.AdodiNewYork.com.
.
LIFE IS!!
Life Is A Big, Ripe Juicy Piece of Fruit, Grab a Piece and Take a Big Bite. We Are Not Here for Long!!
Some people will miss a party in fear they might see someone they hate or don’t want to see. I feel this is foolish. There is always going to be someone who doesn’t like you or who you don’t like if you have been around long enough. Don’t let that stop you from being with warm, good friends who you have known for years and who appreciate your company. If you are like me, you don’t get invited to many parties. Because of this, I always enjoy a good party when I do go.
Life is too short. I have friends who passed away when they were in their early 30’s. I have made it to 52 and am thankful to GOD for giving me the good sense to be cautious and make some good decisions that have kept me on the alive and in relatively good health and on the surface of the earth this long.
I think it all starts with a foundation of loving yourself and treating others fairly. It also makes sense to NOT go overboard with the sex and just enjoy life—but act within reason. I never did cocaine or serious drugs. I don’t race cars or go after hot men anymore like I did for a year and a half when I lived in New York City. I guess GOD wants me on the planet for something, so I have tried to make myself available to him by doing what I interpret as his work as often as I can. That means being kind to as many people as possible and treating my fellow man and woman fairly and equitably.
I try to be available for my nieces and nephews if they want to talk. It is important to have some youth in your life in some way. They always need encouragement and direction in some form or another.
But don’t forget to celebrate victories, milestones, birthdays and special events. Black people love to celebrate good things because we so seldom get a Big Victory to celebrate. I guess that was why so many of us traveled to Washington, D.C. last January when President Barack Obama was sworn in. Talk about a long time coming!! The ironic thing is now Obama seems fearful of talking directly to Black people. A friend of mine said he is not from among us, but is one of us. Another friend said ALL presidents of the United States suckled from the breast of a White woman—including Barack Obama.
I think after things settle down for a time he will come to realize that the racist are going to be hateful regardless if he speaks to Black youth or the rest of us directly. The haters don’t think that 160 plus years of chattel slavery, continued discrimination, the blood of the Civil Rights struggles, The Jim Crow South and the other multitude of festering scares we bare for this country are not enough. Like a few of us being hung after risking our lives at war for North America and like not being allowed, as Black soldiers, to march into Paris in victory after WWII. After all this we get the mega slap in the face from George Bush senior of his naming Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court (See Chapter 14).
But Black Americans are ruff, tough and steady. We can take it and we will work hard to reelect Barack Obama any old way. The war in Afghanistan may, however, be a breaking point. If the man who just won the Nobel Peace Prize can’t see that there are other ways of forcing the Taliban to make peace and stop the bombing, he is just another fool in a jacket in D.C. and there are many such fools who make D.C. there home. It is a shame that The President has kept on the Defense Department’s chief (Gates) from the Bush Administration. How can he expect to change who is getting how much water from the fountain of peace when the man giving out the orders is the same old warmed over folks that got us into two unnecessary wars in the first place? Why do I call the Pentagon the Fountain of Peace? That is exactly what it is. It just needs to be retooled, reshaped, gotten under control and made manifest into something new. The money from the Pentagon is where we need to look for the funds to make peace with the world. Turn weapons into plowshares. That is want needs to happen.
This gets back to my major premise. We have to live life large to see that this can and will happen. The forces of nature are moving in that direction. It will most likely need to be called something else—NOT the Pentagon. But, with a Peace Time Pentagon in place—and it will take about five years to do this,--we can have a really positive impact on the world. Helping our nation pull out of the devastation of danger and destruction will take someone with real vision. Why do we think and why do the media continue to play the news as if the ONLY option is more war(s) and death? They know what side their McDonald Douglas choppers are buttered on. Until recently a major network (NBC) was owned outright by General Electric—a major U.S. defense contractor. The defense contracts have to be pulled in and we have to start using the Pentagon for peaceful purposes. I think some people thought we were going to see real and massive changes in D.C. with Obama—but he is only one man. More of us need to realize that grabbing that fruit of life from the tree can be rewarding and working towards the changes we need for our families, our communities and our planet are really not an option any longer if we want to see life improve in North America and the rest of the world... We need to write letters, join organizations, (See chapter14) write checks and make sure our families have a better future than we had. It is all possible. I have hope and faith. But we need to start this work. And not just our community activists, but ALL of us need to do this work. So grab a piece of fruit, celebrate our victories and stick around to enjoy the work of change and the fight for change. We need you. Oh, and by the way, don’t forget to laugh. !!
Some people will miss a party in fear they might see someone they hate or don’t want to see. I feel this is foolish. There is always going to be someone who doesn’t like you or who you don’t like if you have been around long enough. Don’t let that stop you from being with warm, good friends who you have known for years and who appreciate your company. If you are like me, you don’t get invited to many parties. Because of this, I always enjoy a good party when I do go.
Life is too short. I have friends who passed away when they were in their early 30’s. I have made it to 52 and am thankful to GOD for giving me the good sense to be cautious and make some good decisions that have kept me on the alive and in relatively good health and on the surface of the earth this long.
I think it all starts with a foundation of loving yourself and treating others fairly. It also makes sense to NOT go overboard with the sex and just enjoy life—but act within reason. I never did cocaine or serious drugs. I don’t race cars or go after hot men anymore like I did for a year and a half when I lived in New York City. I guess GOD wants me on the planet for something, so I have tried to make myself available to him by doing what I interpret as his work as often as I can. That means being kind to as many people as possible and treating my fellow man and woman fairly and equitably.
I try to be available for my nieces and nephews if they want to talk. It is important to have some youth in your life in some way. They always need encouragement and direction in some form or another.
But don’t forget to celebrate victories, milestones, birthdays and special events. Black people love to celebrate good things because we so seldom get a Big Victory to celebrate. I guess that was why so many of us traveled to Washington, D.C. last January when President Barack Obama was sworn in. Talk about a long time coming!! The ironic thing is now Obama seems fearful of talking directly to Black people. A friend of mine said he is not from among us, but is one of us. Another friend said ALL presidents of the United States suckled from the breast of a White woman—including Barack Obama.
I think after things settle down for a time he will come to realize that the racist are going to be hateful regardless if he speaks to Black youth or the rest of us directly. The haters don’t think that 160 plus years of chattel slavery, continued discrimination, the blood of the Civil Rights struggles, The Jim Crow South and the other multitude of festering scares we bare for this country are not enough. Like a few of us being hung after risking our lives at war for North America and like not being allowed, as Black soldiers, to march into Paris in victory after WWII. After all this we get the mega slap in the face from George Bush senior of his naming Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court (See Chapter 14).
But Black Americans are ruff, tough and steady. We can take it and we will work hard to reelect Barack Obama any old way. The war in Afghanistan may, however, be a breaking point. If the man who just won the Nobel Peace Prize can’t see that there are other ways of forcing the Taliban to make peace and stop the bombing, he is just another fool in a jacket in D.C. and there are many such fools who make D.C. there home. It is a shame that The President has kept on the Defense Department’s chief (Gates) from the Bush Administration. How can he expect to change who is getting how much water from the fountain of peace when the man giving out the orders is the same old warmed over folks that got us into two unnecessary wars in the first place? Why do I call the Pentagon the Fountain of Peace? That is exactly what it is. It just needs to be retooled, reshaped, gotten under control and made manifest into something new. The money from the Pentagon is where we need to look for the funds to make peace with the world. Turn weapons into plowshares. That is want needs to happen.
This gets back to my major premise. We have to live life large to see that this can and will happen. The forces of nature are moving in that direction. It will most likely need to be called something else—NOT the Pentagon. But, with a Peace Time Pentagon in place—and it will take about five years to do this,--we can have a really positive impact on the world. Helping our nation pull out of the devastation of danger and destruction will take someone with real vision. Why do we think and why do the media continue to play the news as if the ONLY option is more war(s) and death? They know what side their McDonald Douglas choppers are buttered on. Until recently a major network (NBC) was owned outright by General Electric—a major U.S. defense contractor. The defense contracts have to be pulled in and we have to start using the Pentagon for peaceful purposes. I think some people thought we were going to see real and massive changes in D.C. with Obama—but he is only one man. More of us need to realize that grabbing that fruit of life from the tree can be rewarding and working towards the changes we need for our families, our communities and our planet are really not an option any longer if we want to see life improve in North America and the rest of the world... We need to write letters, join organizations, (See chapter14) write checks and make sure our families have a better future than we had. It is all possible. I have hope and faith. But we need to start this work. And not just our community activists, but ALL of us need to do this work. So grab a piece of fruit, celebrate our victories and stick around to enjoy the work of change and the fight for change. We need you. Oh, and by the way, don’t forget to laugh. !!
BAD BOYZ...
Charlie Sheen and Bobby Brown: An Analysis of the Bad Boy…….
Bad Boy/Actor Charlie Sheen makes about $20,000,000.00 a year. That is nothing to sneeze at. That is Twenty Million Dollars a year…. More money than most of us will see in a lifetime… He makes most of it as the star of his own TV show ``Two and a Half Men.’’ The show debuted in September of 2003—a double lifetime in the world of Hollywood Situation-Comedies. It just happens to be one of my favorite TV shows. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t go out of my way to see it. I couldn’t even tell you when it comes on, or the network it comes on--but I find it extraordinarily funny and well written for North American TV…
The show presents Sheen almost as he is in real life, a well healed, spoiled, womanizing White dude who only respects a certain part of a woman’s anatomy found somewhere in her midsection. He wouldn’t know what the heck to do with a woman who was able to think for herself or who had any real feelings... He (and the humorous character he plays) likes women who are just after his wallet, male anatomy and sports cars… Then there is his mother, who is hilarious (Holland Taylor). She gets the best of him every time, which is part of the allure of the show. His brother (Jon Cryer) is also very funny because he is so clean cut and respectful of women, well kind of, that people think he is a homosexual. The kid (Augus T. Jones) is also funny as the son and nephew.
What makes the show work is Sheen’s dead-pan humor as he goes after every blonde or brunette who walks across the set. (Knowing him, Sheen probably has it in his contract that he gets to sleep with every beautiful woman who has ever been or who will ever be on the show). But Sheen, in real life, is married!! So what, you might say, judging from the character he plays. He was recently arrested, on Christmas Day 2009, I believe, for allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat and threatening to kill her if she left him and took their children. This is no laughing matter!!
Sheen has a long history of ``allegedly’’ abusing the women he sleeps with and has a string of failed marriages and relationships with women. He seems to care about nothing except his libido and how to satisfy it… (I could go on for pages about libido and men. Homosexual men as well as straight men [in high places and low places] are notorious for having a lot of sexual energy & conquests while ignoring other parts of their lives. This really includes Black as well as White and Latin men of all sexual persuasions.) But Sheen seems to take the cake, the bathtub and the sink. In fact, he usually takes the whole bathroom if there is a beautiful ``chick’’ included with it… In fact he takes the cake home with him and eats it all for himself… He is the ultimate Hollywood Bad Boy… He is a party animal with a persistent violence and drug problem that one day soon is bound to get him into deeper trouble than just making threats and slapping women around…. One day one of those women is going to cost him more that a bruised ego, a few thousand bucks, another arrest, some bad publicity and some embarrassment.
Bobby Brown is perhaps the Black antitheist of Sheen. He starred in ``A Thin Line Between Love & Hate,’’ (1996) Written and Directed by Martin Lawrence; and ``Two Can Play That Game’’ (2001) Directed by Mark Brown. This bad-boy actor/rapper was married to singer/actress Whitney Houston in one of the most tumultuous and long lasting Hollywood marriages of its type. They both apparently experimented with harsh drugs while mistreating and abusing each other. Brown apparently had many sexual exploits with other women (he has come out with statements refuting some of these allegations) and is blamed by many for most of the abuse. The couple have a daughter together who is now a teenager.
But look at the way the White established Goliath media handles the two men!! Sheen is seen as the consummate playboy. His antics are portrayed mostly as harmless and funny. On the other hand, Brown is seen as an abuser of women and a serious problem for Houston, who has recently successfully rein fused her career without him. Brown has not escaped the ``evil character’’ label. He is seen as a more serious problem and almost a threat to National Security... While I am not saying he doesn’t deserve some of the labeling (Houston said on the Oprah show recently that he actually spit at her), it is interesting to take note of the dichotomy between the two men’s media images.
The two men are basically doing the same things—drinking, womanizing, drugging, abusing and otherwise misbehaving. Yet Sheen manages to control his image and maintain a Twenty-Million-Dollar a year job. Brown, on the other hand, has not managed to control his image as well and has not escaped the many negative labels. Maybe Brown should hire Sheen’s PR people… Neither men seem to live up to the negative characterizations and admit to any such behavior--even though there have been testimonials against them, pictures, multiple arrests and other evidence. It is especially sad when children and possible custody battles are involved in such men’s lives…
The irony of the Sheen case is that he had everything handed to him. (Which may have been part of the problem). Early success and critical acclaim in the film ``Platoon,’’ (1986) Written and Directed by Oliver Stone, and–most importantly—a father named Martin Sheen. Martin Sheen could almost be compared with Martin Luther King Jr. if one considers the amount of work he has done for progressive causes and for the human rights agenda he has helped promote. He was around in the early days of the Civil Rights struggles in the U.S. and has always be a humanitarian, a stellar character and a seemingly ``good father.’’ He has supported just about every worthy liberal or progressive cause under the sun for the last 30 plus years with his money and hard work.
But Charlie Sheen has rejected all the fatherly advice and love in the world from his gentle and caring Dad and put the pedal to the medal in chasing women, drinking, drugging and abusing himself and his women partners. Somehow Charlie Sheen has remained above the fray and kept his job and the twenty million bucks a year to boot. (Only time will tell if he is able to do this after his latest personal and career blunder.)
Bobby Brown is no where nearly as successful as Charlie Sheen, but isn’t hurting for bucks either. I have to wonder if Oprah will take up the cause of Sheen’s wife and children as she did for Houston and lambast Charlie Sheen all over TV as she did another Black singer, (Chris Brown) after his ``alleged’’ abusive behavior…
Not to beat a dead horse, but Tiger Woods, who is a White wana-be and who doesn’t accept or recognize his own Blackness, (and apparently has no taste for our beautiful Black Sisters) has his own problems as the new Bad Boy on the block. Tiger was stripped of some of his endorsements within weeks of the tumultuous revelations surrounding his own behavior and womanizing. (No concrete drug abuse allegations have been revealed as of press time on 12-30-09 concerning Mr. Woods).
At the same time, however, the companies that he has endorsed directly and or with which he shares a brand name lost something like $12 Billion Dollars (That’s with a ``B’’) since the revelations came out about the laundry list of White woman friends and intimate acquaintances he has shared bed action with). He certainly seems to have suffered greatly as his squeaky clean image of a married, high profile, professional golfer and high-minded business man went down the drain.
Bad Boy/Actor Charlie Sheen makes about $20,000,000.00 a year. That is nothing to sneeze at. That is Twenty Million Dollars a year…. More money than most of us will see in a lifetime… He makes most of it as the star of his own TV show ``Two and a Half Men.’’ The show debuted in September of 2003—a double lifetime in the world of Hollywood Situation-Comedies. It just happens to be one of my favorite TV shows. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t go out of my way to see it. I couldn’t even tell you when it comes on, or the network it comes on--but I find it extraordinarily funny and well written for North American TV…
The show presents Sheen almost as he is in real life, a well healed, spoiled, womanizing White dude who only respects a certain part of a woman’s anatomy found somewhere in her midsection. He wouldn’t know what the heck to do with a woman who was able to think for herself or who had any real feelings... He (and the humorous character he plays) likes women who are just after his wallet, male anatomy and sports cars… Then there is his mother, who is hilarious (Holland Taylor). She gets the best of him every time, which is part of the allure of the show. His brother (Jon Cryer) is also very funny because he is so clean cut and respectful of women, well kind of, that people think he is a homosexual. The kid (Augus T. Jones) is also funny as the son and nephew.
What makes the show work is Sheen’s dead-pan humor as he goes after every blonde or brunette who walks across the set. (Knowing him, Sheen probably has it in his contract that he gets to sleep with every beautiful woman who has ever been or who will ever be on the show). But Sheen, in real life, is married!! So what, you might say, judging from the character he plays. He was recently arrested, on Christmas Day 2009, I believe, for allegedly putting a knife to his wife’s throat and threatening to kill her if she left him and took their children. This is no laughing matter!!
Sheen has a long history of ``allegedly’’ abusing the women he sleeps with and has a string of failed marriages and relationships with women. He seems to care about nothing except his libido and how to satisfy it… (I could go on for pages about libido and men. Homosexual men as well as straight men [in high places and low places] are notorious for having a lot of sexual energy & conquests while ignoring other parts of their lives. This really includes Black as well as White and Latin men of all sexual persuasions.) But Sheen seems to take the cake, the bathtub and the sink. In fact, he usually takes the whole bathroom if there is a beautiful ``chick’’ included with it… In fact he takes the cake home with him and eats it all for himself… He is the ultimate Hollywood Bad Boy… He is a party animal with a persistent violence and drug problem that one day soon is bound to get him into deeper trouble than just making threats and slapping women around…. One day one of those women is going to cost him more that a bruised ego, a few thousand bucks, another arrest, some bad publicity and some embarrassment.
Bobby Brown is perhaps the Black antitheist of Sheen. He starred in ``A Thin Line Between Love & Hate,’’ (1996) Written and Directed by Martin Lawrence; and ``Two Can Play That Game’’ (2001) Directed by Mark Brown. This bad-boy actor/rapper was married to singer/actress Whitney Houston in one of the most tumultuous and long lasting Hollywood marriages of its type. They both apparently experimented with harsh drugs while mistreating and abusing each other. Brown apparently had many sexual exploits with other women (he has come out with statements refuting some of these allegations) and is blamed by many for most of the abuse. The couple have a daughter together who is now a teenager.
But look at the way the White established Goliath media handles the two men!! Sheen is seen as the consummate playboy. His antics are portrayed mostly as harmless and funny. On the other hand, Brown is seen as an abuser of women and a serious problem for Houston, who has recently successfully rein fused her career without him. Brown has not escaped the ``evil character’’ label. He is seen as a more serious problem and almost a threat to National Security... While I am not saying he doesn’t deserve some of the labeling (Houston said on the Oprah show recently that he actually spit at her), it is interesting to take note of the dichotomy between the two men’s media images.
The two men are basically doing the same things—drinking, womanizing, drugging, abusing and otherwise misbehaving. Yet Sheen manages to control his image and maintain a Twenty-Million-Dollar a year job. Brown, on the other hand, has not managed to control his image as well and has not escaped the many negative labels. Maybe Brown should hire Sheen’s PR people… Neither men seem to live up to the negative characterizations and admit to any such behavior--even though there have been testimonials against them, pictures, multiple arrests and other evidence. It is especially sad when children and possible custody battles are involved in such men’s lives…
The irony of the Sheen case is that he had everything handed to him. (Which may have been part of the problem). Early success and critical acclaim in the film ``Platoon,’’ (1986) Written and Directed by Oliver Stone, and–most importantly—a father named Martin Sheen. Martin Sheen could almost be compared with Martin Luther King Jr. if one considers the amount of work he has done for progressive causes and for the human rights agenda he has helped promote. He was around in the early days of the Civil Rights struggles in the U.S. and has always be a humanitarian, a stellar character and a seemingly ``good father.’’ He has supported just about every worthy liberal or progressive cause under the sun for the last 30 plus years with his money and hard work.
But Charlie Sheen has rejected all the fatherly advice and love in the world from his gentle and caring Dad and put the pedal to the medal in chasing women, drinking, drugging and abusing himself and his women partners. Somehow Charlie Sheen has remained above the fray and kept his job and the twenty million bucks a year to boot. (Only time will tell if he is able to do this after his latest personal and career blunder.)
Bobby Brown is no where nearly as successful as Charlie Sheen, but isn’t hurting for bucks either. I have to wonder if Oprah will take up the cause of Sheen’s wife and children as she did for Houston and lambast Charlie Sheen all over TV as she did another Black singer, (Chris Brown) after his ``alleged’’ abusive behavior…
Not to beat a dead horse, but Tiger Woods, who is a White wana-be and who doesn’t accept or recognize his own Blackness, (and apparently has no taste for our beautiful Black Sisters) has his own problems as the new Bad Boy on the block. Tiger was stripped of some of his endorsements within weeks of the tumultuous revelations surrounding his own behavior and womanizing. (No concrete drug abuse allegations have been revealed as of press time on 12-30-09 concerning Mr. Woods).
At the same time, however, the companies that he has endorsed directly and or with which he shares a brand name lost something like $12 Billion Dollars (That’s with a ``B’’) since the revelations came out about the laundry list of White woman friends and intimate acquaintances he has shared bed action with). He certainly seems to have suffered greatly as his squeaky clean image of a married, high profile, professional golfer and high-minded business man went down the drain.
Just for The Boyz...
Just For the Boyz………………..
Comin up, I had a lot of male friends. Lookin back, they were very deep friendships for such a young child. There was nothing intimate sexually going on (Although that is not unusual in boyz who grow up to be Same Gender Loving). My early friendships were full of wonder, joy and happy times. They were full of Hot Wheels, pajama games, piñatas at birthday parties, running up and down the fire escape at school, throwing erasers at each other and not paying attention in school. (I almost got suspended once for fighting!!) But since I was such a ``good boy’’ usually, I escaped that blemish on my record. While I never cut school, I do regret fooling around in math class and not really taking school seriously until high school. I guess I should consider myself lucky because many Black males drop out and never get their high school diplomas. I had a mother & father who would not hear of that, so I got the diploma and successfully went on to college.
But there were some boyz who I still think of till this day. There was Amado. Handsome, neat and friendly, he was an exotic bird in the flock. I don’t even know what country he was from, probably The Soviet Union, the Ukraine or Egypt. He was funny, happy-go-lucky and full of energy. We used to go over his home over on Spruce Street in West Philadelphia and run up and down the street and all over the house. His parents didn’t seem to mind or care. We attended the same school right around the corner, Lea Elementary School, and often went to the same classes. Amado did better than me in school because something in him helped him apply himself. Like I said, I didn’t learn that lesson until I hit high school. I knew this dude wasn’t Black, but we were great friends none the less. There was a mysterious bond between us that held both the sexual energy of youth and the mystery and magic of male friendship.
Douglas was a young brother who held my attention for several years as we attended grammar school together. He was rambunctious and fun to be with. He loved to play physical games like cops and robbers and would laugh constantly as he entertained himself and his close friends. He was a light skinned Black brother with curly hair. He was very handsome and retained a great nostalgic, almost mystical smile. I am still learning how NOT to value people more because they have a lighter hue. I hate to say that, but I will admit that such a prejudice still exists in me even after reading all the Black history books and all the other reading about how we have suffered as a people because of prejudice and discrimination centering on our darker skin. Douglas was rough and tumble—a boyz’s boy. His laughter and bright, fresh face will forever be emblazoned in my memories of childhood. I always remember him hiding in the closet at Lea School and jumping out and scaring all the other children. He was great fun!!
Curtiss (Now Hale) is still a friend now. He used to love playing with Hot Wheels and was a charmer. He was one of the most handsome gentlemen in grammar school there was and was like by everyone. He would stick with me thought think and thin, but never had much of a negative thing to say.. . He believed in family (he and his mother are best pals and have helped each other through rough times as well as good times). Curtiss also has a very strong sense of humor to go along with all that male energy and European styled distinction. (He recently went on a venture to Paris, France which I’m dying to hear about). No matter what, I would help Curtis out in any way I could as much as I could because he has been a friend for about 45 years. That is a lot of time through which to maintain a friendship with the same person. Hale is that person. We traveled down life’s waterways, rivers, streams, underpasses and mountain peaks together always maintaining a steady friendship and helping each other out. He served as my personal assistant when I had an office on 38th and Lancaster Avenue in West Philadelphia a few years ago and he was a big help to me in that capacity. He has achieved a good degree of success recently and I am very proud of him. I don’t know what keeps us as friends, but I am thankful for whatever energy there is that makes that possible. We don’t agree on everything, but we are always willing to talk and defend our positions—always ending up laughing and being good friends.
A caped crusader in Black, a man meant for play when he was a child, a young boy with a youthful grin and a fantastically energetic way about himself—that was Wilson. He lived right down the street when we were kids and one never tired of playing in front of his house. Jumping off the front porch, laughing and grinning-- always days filled with action and childhood delight & excitement. Wilson never gave up on playing physical games like tag and tug of war—he was a man child and this must have been the Promised Land. He was so funny, kind and loving as a friend—a totally platonic friend-- mind you. Neither of us knew anything about sex or sexuality at the time. We must have been about six or eight years old at the time. Wilson, however, would be like a ship passing in the night because his stay on the block—on 49th Street—would be short and sweet. His parents moved and, of course, took Wilson with them. But his smile and all the fun we had as children will never be forgotten. Thanks for all that boy energy and fun, Wilson—I will never forget you….as long as I live…
Stanley had green teeth. To make matters worse they were kind of chewed up and funny looking—his teeth, I mean. Everybody hated Stanley because of this. He was also as thin as a string bean. Somehow he seemed well adjusted and normal otherwise. That is if there is such a thing as normal. He only did average in school and had a hard life with the green teeth and all. When I say he had a hard life I guess I’m projecting on to him how I would have thought if people teased me relentlessly about something as personal as that. Like I said, he really seemed OK with it. I never understood why he didn’t just scrub his teeth really good. Maybe he did and it just didn’t work. I have often wondered what ever happened to Stanley. We were so unnecessarily hard on him and his green teeth. He was right out of Dr. Souse. All he needed was the green eggs and ham. (There I go teasing poor Stanley again!!) I hope Stanley will forgive me for all the taunting and teasing I did to him because of those pearly green teeth. He just seemed to get used to all the teasing. I bet he grew up to be someone famous—wealthy maybe. He may have had the last laugh after all. I bet he had about 10 children and a lovely wife. He has probably achieved much more than I ever will. Where ever you are Stanley I hope and pray you are well and doing quite well. Maybe they have found some secret to getting rid of those teeth by now and maybe you have new ones that are really pretty and white. It is a shame what some people have to go through over color!!
Phillip was fat. The jelly rolls were his trade mark. People thought he was dumb too. It was an odd thing in those days—the early 60’s to late 60’s. To be fat that is. No one wanted to be fat like Phillip. He was just big. They used to call it Big Boned. Well, a lot of the people who used to tease Phillip about being Big and Fat are really big and fat themselves now!!. Take me for instance. I have gained about 35 extra pounds. I have reasons for it which I won’t go into, but I really could eat less and get on an exercise regimen. But, that’s too personal, let’s get back to Phillip. He was fat and because of this, he was seen as inferior. He was also teased relentlessly. Other boyz would squeeze his chest and say ``Milk Duds’’ ``Milk Duds’’ and they would throw sticks at him. I wasn’t any better than the rest. I hope Phillip will also forgive me for all the teasing. I don’t remember throwing sticks, but I may have. As I recall, Phillip went on to a good school after grade school and was quite smart. He may have gone on to the prestigious Central High School in Philadelphia where all the smart boys went... I’m not really sure, but I think I’m correct... We thought he was just a Baby Huey type. We thought he was dumb, but he wasn’t. He was doing well in school even while we teased him unmercifully and goofed off in class. I am almost sure he went on to do something good with his life. I don’t have all the details, but I heard he was doing well. I don’t know if he is still fat, or big boned, but I have to wish him well also. I hope he forgives me also. We were just being nasty, cruel boyz in those days. Let’s hope GOD will forgive us also. It looks like Phillip also had his own personal revenge by doing well and paying attention in school while we played around and threw erasers at the teachers and pissed in the fire escape. GOD has a funny way of making things that go around come around --doesn’t she!!...
Bruce Bunch and his brother Joe Bunch were friends of mine when I was a child. They lived right down the street on 49th street. If I wasn’t over their house when we were kids, they were over my house. I remember one night Joe came over for dinner. We were having a meal, the likes of which I can’t remember. I do remember that we had Brussels Sprouts. Joe hated them as did I. The look on his face when he bit into one was excruciating. I don’t thing many of them have gone down the old hatch since then, for me at least. We lost Joe much too early in life. I often wonder what it would have been like if he hadn’t passed away at the age of about 36. Joe introduced me to the book ``Man-Child In the Promised Land’’ which opened my eyes to reading for enjoyment and not just watching the TV all the time. That book was not only entertaining; it was also educational and reflected inner city life, which I was very familiar with. Bruce was good for fighting in the fire tower at school as we threw chalk board erasers at one another and went back into class with white faces. We often got into trouble together. He was more rough and tumble than his brother Joe and grew up to be a successful oil company merchant like his Dad, Alvin. Joe went on to work on Wall Street in New York before his untimely passing.
Comin up, I had a lot of male friends. Lookin back, they were very deep friendships for such a young child. There was nothing intimate sexually going on (Although that is not unusual in boyz who grow up to be Same Gender Loving). My early friendships were full of wonder, joy and happy times. They were full of Hot Wheels, pajama games, piñatas at birthday parties, running up and down the fire escape at school, throwing erasers at each other and not paying attention in school. (I almost got suspended once for fighting!!) But since I was such a ``good boy’’ usually, I escaped that blemish on my record. While I never cut school, I do regret fooling around in math class and not really taking school seriously until high school. I guess I should consider myself lucky because many Black males drop out and never get their high school diplomas. I had a mother & father who would not hear of that, so I got the diploma and successfully went on to college.
But there were some boyz who I still think of till this day. There was Amado. Handsome, neat and friendly, he was an exotic bird in the flock. I don’t even know what country he was from, probably The Soviet Union, the Ukraine or Egypt. He was funny, happy-go-lucky and full of energy. We used to go over his home over on Spruce Street in West Philadelphia and run up and down the street and all over the house. His parents didn’t seem to mind or care. We attended the same school right around the corner, Lea Elementary School, and often went to the same classes. Amado did better than me in school because something in him helped him apply himself. Like I said, I didn’t learn that lesson until I hit high school. I knew this dude wasn’t Black, but we were great friends none the less. There was a mysterious bond between us that held both the sexual energy of youth and the mystery and magic of male friendship.
Douglas was a young brother who held my attention for several years as we attended grammar school together. He was rambunctious and fun to be with. He loved to play physical games like cops and robbers and would laugh constantly as he entertained himself and his close friends. He was a light skinned Black brother with curly hair. He was very handsome and retained a great nostalgic, almost mystical smile. I am still learning how NOT to value people more because they have a lighter hue. I hate to say that, but I will admit that such a prejudice still exists in me even after reading all the Black history books and all the other reading about how we have suffered as a people because of prejudice and discrimination centering on our darker skin. Douglas was rough and tumble—a boyz’s boy. His laughter and bright, fresh face will forever be emblazoned in my memories of childhood. I always remember him hiding in the closet at Lea School and jumping out and scaring all the other children. He was great fun!!
Curtiss (Now Hale) is still a friend now. He used to love playing with Hot Wheels and was a charmer. He was one of the most handsome gentlemen in grammar school there was and was like by everyone. He would stick with me thought think and thin, but never had much of a negative thing to say.. . He believed in family (he and his mother are best pals and have helped each other through rough times as well as good times). Curtiss also has a very strong sense of humor to go along with all that male energy and European styled distinction. (He recently went on a venture to Paris, France which I’m dying to hear about). No matter what, I would help Curtis out in any way I could as much as I could because he has been a friend for about 45 years. That is a lot of time through which to maintain a friendship with the same person. Hale is that person. We traveled down life’s waterways, rivers, streams, underpasses and mountain peaks together always maintaining a steady friendship and helping each other out. He served as my personal assistant when I had an office on 38th and Lancaster Avenue in West Philadelphia a few years ago and he was a big help to me in that capacity. He has achieved a good degree of success recently and I am very proud of him. I don’t know what keeps us as friends, but I am thankful for whatever energy there is that makes that possible. We don’t agree on everything, but we are always willing to talk and defend our positions—always ending up laughing and being good friends.
A caped crusader in Black, a man meant for play when he was a child, a young boy with a youthful grin and a fantastically energetic way about himself—that was Wilson. He lived right down the street when we were kids and one never tired of playing in front of his house. Jumping off the front porch, laughing and grinning-- always days filled with action and childhood delight & excitement. Wilson never gave up on playing physical games like tag and tug of war—he was a man child and this must have been the Promised Land. He was so funny, kind and loving as a friend—a totally platonic friend-- mind you. Neither of us knew anything about sex or sexuality at the time. We must have been about six or eight years old at the time. Wilson, however, would be like a ship passing in the night because his stay on the block—on 49th Street—would be short and sweet. His parents moved and, of course, took Wilson with them. But his smile and all the fun we had as children will never be forgotten. Thanks for all that boy energy and fun, Wilson—I will never forget you….as long as I live…
Stanley had green teeth. To make matters worse they were kind of chewed up and funny looking—his teeth, I mean. Everybody hated Stanley because of this. He was also as thin as a string bean. Somehow he seemed well adjusted and normal otherwise. That is if there is such a thing as normal. He only did average in school and had a hard life with the green teeth and all. When I say he had a hard life I guess I’m projecting on to him how I would have thought if people teased me relentlessly about something as personal as that. Like I said, he really seemed OK with it. I never understood why he didn’t just scrub his teeth really good. Maybe he did and it just didn’t work. I have often wondered what ever happened to Stanley. We were so unnecessarily hard on him and his green teeth. He was right out of Dr. Souse. All he needed was the green eggs and ham. (There I go teasing poor Stanley again!!) I hope Stanley will forgive me for all the taunting and teasing I did to him because of those pearly green teeth. He just seemed to get used to all the teasing. I bet he grew up to be someone famous—wealthy maybe. He may have had the last laugh after all. I bet he had about 10 children and a lovely wife. He has probably achieved much more than I ever will. Where ever you are Stanley I hope and pray you are well and doing quite well. Maybe they have found some secret to getting rid of those teeth by now and maybe you have new ones that are really pretty and white. It is a shame what some people have to go through over color!!
Phillip was fat. The jelly rolls were his trade mark. People thought he was dumb too. It was an odd thing in those days—the early 60’s to late 60’s. To be fat that is. No one wanted to be fat like Phillip. He was just big. They used to call it Big Boned. Well, a lot of the people who used to tease Phillip about being Big and Fat are really big and fat themselves now!!. Take me for instance. I have gained about 35 extra pounds. I have reasons for it which I won’t go into, but I really could eat less and get on an exercise regimen. But, that’s too personal, let’s get back to Phillip. He was fat and because of this, he was seen as inferior. He was also teased relentlessly. Other boyz would squeeze his chest and say ``Milk Duds’’ ``Milk Duds’’ and they would throw sticks at him. I wasn’t any better than the rest. I hope Phillip will also forgive me for all the teasing. I don’t remember throwing sticks, but I may have. As I recall, Phillip went on to a good school after grade school and was quite smart. He may have gone on to the prestigious Central High School in Philadelphia where all the smart boys went... I’m not really sure, but I think I’m correct... We thought he was just a Baby Huey type. We thought he was dumb, but he wasn’t. He was doing well in school even while we teased him unmercifully and goofed off in class. I am almost sure he went on to do something good with his life. I don’t have all the details, but I heard he was doing well. I don’t know if he is still fat, or big boned, but I have to wish him well also. I hope he forgives me also. We were just being nasty, cruel boyz in those days. Let’s hope GOD will forgive us also. It looks like Phillip also had his own personal revenge by doing well and paying attention in school while we played around and threw erasers at the teachers and pissed in the fire escape. GOD has a funny way of making things that go around come around --doesn’t she!!...
Bruce Bunch and his brother Joe Bunch were friends of mine when I was a child. They lived right down the street on 49th street. If I wasn’t over their house when we were kids, they were over my house. I remember one night Joe came over for dinner. We were having a meal, the likes of which I can’t remember. I do remember that we had Brussels Sprouts. Joe hated them as did I. The look on his face when he bit into one was excruciating. I don’t thing many of them have gone down the old hatch since then, for me at least. We lost Joe much too early in life. I often wonder what it would have been like if he hadn’t passed away at the age of about 36. Joe introduced me to the book ``Man-Child In the Promised Land’’ which opened my eyes to reading for enjoyment and not just watching the TV all the time. That book was not only entertaining; it was also educational and reflected inner city life, which I was very familiar with. Bruce was good for fighting in the fire tower at school as we threw chalk board erasers at one another and went back into class with white faces. We often got into trouble together. He was more rough and tumble than his brother Joe and grew up to be a successful oil company merchant like his Dad, Alvin. Joe went on to work on Wall Street in New York before his untimely passing.
Confessions.....
Confessions of a Black, Radical Homosexual Writer…..
Some friends have said ``You Can’t say that.’’ Well I’ve said it and I have lived it. The fact that I am a homosexual cannot be hidden and should not be. But it is only part of my identity and should not, in America or anywhere else, be used to hold me or any other such person, back. Just about any and all people who know me know I’m all these things--in the headline here and more. James Baldwin once said you disarm your enemies by telling them what most people sweep under the rug. (And believe me, most people have things under the rug. Plenty of things.) I am an SGL (Same Gender Loving) Black man, but that is only part of my identity. I am also a good uncle, a writer, a lover of Black history, a reader, a former and soon-to-be-again landlord, a businessman, a friend to my companion, a son to my still-living father, a brother to my sister, a Brother to all my people and all who would call me BROTHER, a part-time scholar, a man who loves all types of people, a movie lover, a lover of Jazz and R & B music, a thinker and philosophizer, a believer in Black people, a person who would and will overturn oppression through words & deeds, a believer in GOD & the ancestors, a lover of Black men and Black women, a nephew, a Father figure of the world—if the world will have me, a lover of Africa and All good things African, a humanitarian, a believer in mankind and woman kind, an Adodi Brother, a man who remembers what has been done wrong and never forgets—but is able to forgive, a hard worker, an authentic Proud Black man and a gentleman.
I live without much fear. It is not useful. This is something I have had to learn. What a man fears controls him to some degree. I will take risks, but only limited risks. I remember my Mother, Mrs. Jessie M. Gibson, as a woman who instilled virtue, good values and good ethical decision-making skills in me from early on. When I once stole $5.oo from her, I was punished in a way that made sure I would never do it again. I learned a lesson. My father, Mr. Charles S. Gibson, taught me a strong work ethic, the power of money and wealth and the value of hard work. Once, and I think I told this story elsewhere in this volume, I was walking home from grade school and the devil got a hold of me and I palmed a littler boy’s head with my hand. I must have been about 8, but I was big for my age. I did this right outside Lea Elementary School in West Philadelphia at 47th and Locust Street. It was just to be bold and brash and to get the feeling that I was better than he was. As soon as I did this, a young Black male parent palmed my head and asked how did I like being treated like that. I felt all at once embarrassed and silly—forever sorry that I had done that to someone—especially someone smaller than me. I learned an enormously important life lesson from that small experience. I try to never take advantage of others and kick around the weak or those smaller than me, or the disenfranchised, disabled or poor. In fact, I have dedicated my life to helping the down trodden, weak, disabled, and those—such as Black people—who I feel are oppressed, discarded, disgraced or left out of the main stream of major society and culture in North America and throughout the world. I love Black people and I know our pain. I also know we have done, are doing and will continue to do great things that often don’t get recognized as such...
Part of the reason I wrote this book was to make a breakthrough to the other side. I want everyday, ordinary Black people to read this book and think about some of the concepts and precepts that I have explored here. I also wanted this book to be short and sweet—not 500 or 1000 pages that gets put on the shelf and never read, but a volume that is read and referred to frequently. My hope is that this will be a living testament that I was here and that the Black experience is and continues to be important on the world stage.
It is time for Black people to let their hair down and demand more—I hope and pray this book will be a venue to allow that to happen. So, read on and try NOT to judge me, but if you do, think of some of the things you have done in life that you may not be proud of and ask yourself if GOD knows what you have done and ask for forgiveness and then read on some more. There are a few things in life I have done that I’m NOT proud of, but most of the stuff I have done and continue to do was good stuff and I think my opinions & research are sound. Otherwise, I would not share them with you—the valued Black reader. . . So I hope you will enjoy this book because it is especially written for you if you are a Black thinking person. If you are anything other than that, you might enjoy it also. So sit back and enjoy!!
Some friends have said ``You Can’t say that.’’ Well I’ve said it and I have lived it. The fact that I am a homosexual cannot be hidden and should not be. But it is only part of my identity and should not, in America or anywhere else, be used to hold me or any other such person, back. Just about any and all people who know me know I’m all these things--in the headline here and more. James Baldwin once said you disarm your enemies by telling them what most people sweep under the rug. (And believe me, most people have things under the rug. Plenty of things.) I am an SGL (Same Gender Loving) Black man, but that is only part of my identity. I am also a good uncle, a writer, a lover of Black history, a reader, a former and soon-to-be-again landlord, a businessman, a friend to my companion, a son to my still-living father, a brother to my sister, a Brother to all my people and all who would call me BROTHER, a part-time scholar, a man who loves all types of people, a movie lover, a lover of Jazz and R & B music, a thinker and philosophizer, a believer in Black people, a person who would and will overturn oppression through words & deeds, a believer in GOD & the ancestors, a lover of Black men and Black women, a nephew, a Father figure of the world—if the world will have me, a lover of Africa and All good things African, a humanitarian, a believer in mankind and woman kind, an Adodi Brother, a man who remembers what has been done wrong and never forgets—but is able to forgive, a hard worker, an authentic Proud Black man and a gentleman.
I live without much fear. It is not useful. This is something I have had to learn. What a man fears controls him to some degree. I will take risks, but only limited risks. I remember my Mother, Mrs. Jessie M. Gibson, as a woman who instilled virtue, good values and good ethical decision-making skills in me from early on. When I once stole $5.oo from her, I was punished in a way that made sure I would never do it again. I learned a lesson. My father, Mr. Charles S. Gibson, taught me a strong work ethic, the power of money and wealth and the value of hard work. Once, and I think I told this story elsewhere in this volume, I was walking home from grade school and the devil got a hold of me and I palmed a littler boy’s head with my hand. I must have been about 8, but I was big for my age. I did this right outside Lea Elementary School in West Philadelphia at 47th and Locust Street. It was just to be bold and brash and to get the feeling that I was better than he was. As soon as I did this, a young Black male parent palmed my head and asked how did I like being treated like that. I felt all at once embarrassed and silly—forever sorry that I had done that to someone—especially someone smaller than me. I learned an enormously important life lesson from that small experience. I try to never take advantage of others and kick around the weak or those smaller than me, or the disenfranchised, disabled or poor. In fact, I have dedicated my life to helping the down trodden, weak, disabled, and those—such as Black people—who I feel are oppressed, discarded, disgraced or left out of the main stream of major society and culture in North America and throughout the world. I love Black people and I know our pain. I also know we have done, are doing and will continue to do great things that often don’t get recognized as such...
Part of the reason I wrote this book was to make a breakthrough to the other side. I want everyday, ordinary Black people to read this book and think about some of the concepts and precepts that I have explored here. I also wanted this book to be short and sweet—not 500 or 1000 pages that gets put on the shelf and never read, but a volume that is read and referred to frequently. My hope is that this will be a living testament that I was here and that the Black experience is and continues to be important on the world stage.
It is time for Black people to let their hair down and demand more—I hope and pray this book will be a venue to allow that to happen. So, read on and try NOT to judge me, but if you do, think of some of the things you have done in life that you may not be proud of and ask yourself if GOD knows what you have done and ask for forgiveness and then read on some more. There are a few things in life I have done that I’m NOT proud of, but most of the stuff I have done and continue to do was good stuff and I think my opinions & research are sound. Otherwise, I would not share them with you—the valued Black reader. . . So I hope you will enjoy this book because it is especially written for you if you are a Black thinking person. If you are anything other than that, you might enjoy it also. So sit back and enjoy!!
Being Exclusive...
Being Exclusive is NOT The African Way…
By Brother Tracy Gibson
Africans have a long tradition of welcoming other people into their homes, villages, temples and even political struggles. Being exclusive and not forming alliances is a sure fire way of losing a battle. I’m not saying we should trust everyone and be foolish or too trusting. However, when we pull together with other groups and organizations that have similar goals and objectives, we are able to puff up our numbers and really clobber the enemy. When we only struggle within and among ourselves we remain Brother and Sister Outsider…While we have to be careful to collaborate with others who have similar interests and who have similar goals, working in coalition can bring needed fruit to the table and make more bounty for everyone. Working only with Black people can also be fruitful, but it doesn’t always get us the numbers and the victories we want and need…. Being inclusive is African…
In the December, 2009 issue of Leon Williams Journal ``The Voice No One Controls’’, (Brother Williams is a long-time Philadelphia progressive activist who has been friendly over the years), Sister Shahrzad Ali wrote that she was perturbed about the School Reform Commission (SRC) of Philadelphia stripping Black History Month from its’ roster because October was not accepted as Gay & Lesbian History month by many African American groups including the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League of which Sister Ali is a leading member.
I have to agree with Sister Ali that certainly Black History Month should NOT have been dropped by Philadelphia’s SRC. Not with over 70 % of all public school students being from the African American community. This is certainly an injustice considering that most European centered history taught in our Nation is revisionist and often racist in nature. It does not tell the truth. All or most of the accomplishments of other people—people other than Europeans (Usually old funky White men)--has been stripped from the history books including the great achievements in world history of Latino, Asian, Native American, African & Arab people. I want to go on record as officially petitioning our School Board and the SRC to reinstate Black History Month—February—in the official roster & calendar for the school year. They will be getting a letter from me expressing this demand resolutely and within a few weeks!!
At the same time, I have to drastically disagree with Sister Ali in her thought that Same Gender Loving (SGL) (or gay) history is somehow wrong or perverted. I can’t disagree with her more.
I feel that the history of people such as Harvey Milk, Audre Lorde, James Baldwin & Bayard Rustin are part & parcel to the American saga and should be studied by our children and the rest of us. We need to know about people other than just straight Black men and women. A good, fair and just compromise would be for upper classmen to study such people. There is no reason why students in public High School can’t study such great American heroes. Students in High School have a better understanding of what sexual orientation is and have probably already had their own personal sexual identity set. I don’t think they are as impressionable as younger children. I don’t think studying such people & the events that surround them in history should be thought of as perverse or threatening to the Black family or any other family for that matter. Come on people, this is 2009. There are Same Gender Loving families in the school system, in society at large and throughout the world. SGL people are even protected under the Constitution in South Africa. (Our country has not seen fit to give such protections at this point because the Republicans and the so-called Blue Dog Democrats would have a pig fit).
Just for your consideration, here are brief histories of each of the historical figures mentioned here:
Historical Gay or SGL Figures:
Harvey Milk (1930-1978) was the first openly (SGL) member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (Their City Council). He was tragically murdered as he championed SGL rights & advocated for the underserved, left out and poor in that California city. A recent movie ``Milk’’ (2008) Directed by Gus Van Sant met with much critical and public support... The drama is based on facts and stars Sean Penn depicting Harvey Milk...
Audre Lorde (1934-1992) was an outstanding New York City poet, activist, feminist and human rights advocate. She advocated for Black lesbians and SGL Black men and others who she felt were left on the outside of history as well as for poor people... She won many awards and accolades and there is a community center named after her in New York City. There is a documentary film about her called: ``A Litany for Survival: The Life and Work of Audre Lorde.’’ (1995). Directed by Ada Gay Griffin and Michelle Parkerson. Some of Ms. Lorde’s works included ``Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches’’ and ``The Black Unicorn.’’
James Baldwin (1924 – 1987) was one of the most important and renowned American authors through out history. He was also a human rights advocate, a civil rights leader & a social critic who won many prizes for his literary accomplishments. He penned: ``The Fire Next Time,’’ ``Go Tellin’ on the Mountain,’’ ``Nobody Knows My Name,’’ ``If Beale Street Could Talk,’’ and ``Just Above My Head’’ to name only a few. His social criticism was read, lauded and reviewed by some of the top thinkers and policy makers especially during his hay day in the 1960’s and 1970’s. He was outspoken against the war in Viet Nam and the ensuing poverty at home as well as racial injustice, discrimination and the economic disparity among the races. Later in life he repatriated to France. Even Malcolm X adored his outspokenness and his early writings…
Bayard Rustin (1912-1987) was a fiery orator, an expert political organizer & one of Martin Luther King Jr.s’ right hand men. While he was largely a behind- the-scenes player, he was instrumental in organizing the original and now famous March on Washington in August of 1963. That demonstration helped turn the tide towards the passing of major Civil Rights legislation including the Voting Rights act of 1965. A documentary called: ``Brother Outsider’’ (2003) Directed by Nancy D. Kates & Bennett Singer, depicts his life and times and was the winner of many distinguished film awards including a Sun Dance Award.
I personally don’t want to forget any of these American Heroes. The fact that they were homosexuals does NOT make me turn my back on them. You shouldn’t either. Remember exclusivity is NOT the African way!!
(To read more articles by this author, [Brother Tracy Gibson] go to www.btganda.com . . . & look for his upcoming BLOCKBUSTER book entitled ``The Re-Awakening of the African Diaspora, 2009, Volume II, Moving from Abuse, Anger & Frustration to Hope, Activism and Accomplishment,’’ by Brother Tracy Gibson, due out in March, 2010. )
By Brother Tracy Gibson
Africans have a long tradition of welcoming other people into their homes, villages, temples and even political struggles. Being exclusive and not forming alliances is a sure fire way of losing a battle. I’m not saying we should trust everyone and be foolish or too trusting. However, when we pull together with other groups and organizations that have similar goals and objectives, we are able to puff up our numbers and really clobber the enemy. When we only struggle within and among ourselves we remain Brother and Sister Outsider…While we have to be careful to collaborate with others who have similar interests and who have similar goals, working in coalition can bring needed fruit to the table and make more bounty for everyone. Working only with Black people can also be fruitful, but it doesn’t always get us the numbers and the victories we want and need…. Being inclusive is African…
In the December, 2009 issue of Leon Williams Journal ``The Voice No One Controls’’, (Brother Williams is a long-time Philadelphia progressive activist who has been friendly over the years), Sister Shahrzad Ali wrote that she was perturbed about the School Reform Commission (SRC) of Philadelphia stripping Black History Month from its’ roster because October was not accepted as Gay & Lesbian History month by many African American groups including the African American Freedom & Reconstruction League of which Sister Ali is a leading member.
I have to agree with Sister Ali that certainly Black History Month should NOT have been dropped by Philadelphia’s SRC. Not with over 70 % of all public school students being from the African American community. This is certainly an injustice considering that most European centered history taught in our Nation is revisionist and often racist in nature. It does not tell the truth. All or most of the accomplishments of other people—people other than Europeans (Usually old funky White men)--has been stripped from the history books including the great achievements in world history of Latino, Asian, Native American, African & Arab people. I want to go on record as officially petitioning our School Board and the SRC to reinstate Black History Month—February—in the official roster & calendar for the school year. They will be getting a letter from me expressing this demand resolutely and within a few weeks!!
At the same time, I have to drastically disagree with Sister Ali in her thought that Same Gender Loving (SGL) (or gay) history is somehow wrong or perverted. I can’t disagree with her more.
I feel that the history of people such as Harvey Milk, Audre Lorde, James Baldwin & Bayard Rustin are part & parcel to the American saga and should be studied by our children and the rest of us. We need to know about people other than just straight Black men and women. A good, fair and just compromise would be for upper classmen to study such people. There is no reason why students in public High School can’t study such great American heroes. Students in High School have a better understanding of what sexual orientation is and have probably already had their own personal sexual identity set. I don’t think they are as impressionable as younger children. I don’t think studying such people & the events that surround them in history should be thought of as perverse or threatening to the Black family or any other family for that matter. Come on people, this is 2009. There are Same Gender Loving families in the school system, in society at large and throughout the world. SGL people are even protected under the Constitution in South Africa. (Our country has not seen fit to give such protections at this point because the Republicans and the so-called Blue Dog Democrats would have a pig fit).
Just for your consideration, here are brief histories of each of the historical figures mentioned here:
Historical Gay or SGL Figures:
Harvey Milk (1930-1978) was the first openly (SGL) member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (Their City Council). He was tragically murdered as he championed SGL rights & advocated for the underserved, left out and poor in that California city. A recent movie ``Milk’’ (2008) Directed by Gus Van Sant met with much critical and public support... The drama is based on facts and stars Sean Penn depicting Harvey Milk...
Audre Lorde (1934-1992) was an outstanding New York City poet, activist, feminist and human rights advocate. She advocated for Black lesbians and SGL Black men and others who she felt were left on the outside of history as well as for poor people... She won many awards and accolades and there is a community center named after her in New York City. There is a documentary film about her called: ``A Litany for Survival: The Life and Work of Audre Lorde.’’ (1995). Directed by Ada Gay Griffin and Michelle Parkerson. Some of Ms. Lorde’s works included ``Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches’’ and ``The Black Unicorn.’’
James Baldwin (1924 – 1987) was one of the most important and renowned American authors through out history. He was also a human rights advocate, a civil rights leader & a social critic who won many prizes for his literary accomplishments. He penned: ``The Fire Next Time,’’ ``Go Tellin’ on the Mountain,’’ ``Nobody Knows My Name,’’ ``If Beale Street Could Talk,’’ and ``Just Above My Head’’ to name only a few. His social criticism was read, lauded and reviewed by some of the top thinkers and policy makers especially during his hay day in the 1960’s and 1970’s. He was outspoken against the war in Viet Nam and the ensuing poverty at home as well as racial injustice, discrimination and the economic disparity among the races. Later in life he repatriated to France. Even Malcolm X adored his outspokenness and his early writings…
Bayard Rustin (1912-1987) was a fiery orator, an expert political organizer & one of Martin Luther King Jr.s’ right hand men. While he was largely a behind- the-scenes player, he was instrumental in organizing the original and now famous March on Washington in August of 1963. That demonstration helped turn the tide towards the passing of major Civil Rights legislation including the Voting Rights act of 1965. A documentary called: ``Brother Outsider’’ (2003) Directed by Nancy D. Kates & Bennett Singer, depicts his life and times and was the winner of many distinguished film awards including a Sun Dance Award.
I personally don’t want to forget any of these American Heroes. The fact that they were homosexuals does NOT make me turn my back on them. You shouldn’t either. Remember exclusivity is NOT the African way!!
(To read more articles by this author, [Brother Tracy Gibson] go to www.btganda.com . . . & look for his upcoming BLOCKBUSTER book entitled ``The Re-Awakening of the African Diaspora, 2009, Volume II, Moving from Abuse, Anger & Frustration to Hope, Activism and Accomplishment,’’ by Brother Tracy Gibson, due out in March, 2010. )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)