My Dear Black Parents, Are You Hiding Behind Your Children?
I have a lot of
nerve writing this book. First of all,
Like Oprah Winfrey, I do NOT have any children of my own. What I do is call each and every person on
the planet and each and every person who ever was in human existence and each
and every person who ever will be, my own children. This is quite empowering and enlightening. It
also comes with an incredible amount of responsibility. It stands firm and doesn’t say I need any
approval for myself as a Black Gay man, even thought my human existence doesn’t
need approval from the government to be, just because I have children. Have you ever noticed how ``true families’’
are raised and promoted above everyone else? As if when you have children you
are a direct descendent from GOD and more deserving of fresh air, clean and
healthy food and fresh and clean water and a nice place to live? I say everyone
deserves these things regardless of who
you are, your station in life, your income level or you immigration status.
This brings me
back to what I wanted to talk about in the first place. Are you hiding behind your children? Did you
have children for altruistic reasons, or did you just want little versions of
yourself?
Do you think it is OK to want to have a ``clone’’ of
yourself in a mini formation and call them children?
We need to procreate to keep the cycle of life going, but I
have news for you. Too many people on
this planet could be the most difficult problem we face as humans if it is not
already. It is NOT what is going on in
the so-called Middle East ( which some Black Nationalists call a part of AFRICA,
and which can and will be solved by 5th - graders); it is not racism
( which can easily be solved by more separate places and businesses and more
control covertly or overtly, of things by Black people and a retooling of
so-called intelligence agencies and their missions; it is not the environment (
which comes in a close second). It is the problem of overpopulation.
If you think you
are more of a person because you have children, that might have held true five
years ago. It is how you are raising
those children that is of the utmost importance. Are you raising them to walk in the same
footprints you walked in and are your foot prints racist, ethically wanting,
non-religious, hateful and greedy? These
are the questions that need to be answered.
If you don’t have
children than you can’t hide behind them while not making sure they have their
homework done; that they are fed properly ( and I mean good healthy food, clean
water, not so much fat, not so much white flour, not so much white starches
like regular rice and white potatoes, not too many desserts). Are you making
sure they get the right amount of exercise on a regular basis? Are you not
cursing or hitting them, but making sure they are schooled properly and disciplined
in a fair and proper way that is helpful and gracious and not hurtful? It is up to you to make sure these things are
done to the best of your ability, even if you have a very small income.
My feeling is, as
your GOD, I feel you should not have had any children if you were not ready to
take on the responsibility of caring for these children. Why don’t you consider
adopting children if you want more than two children? Do you
realize that you are responsible for them until they are 18? That is a long
time. I can tell you that my Mother, GOD take care of Her in Heaven, my mother
still helps me even though she has passed away. My Father also care for me even to this day,
when He died in 2012.
Have you ever
felt yourself saying to yourself ``I wish I had never had these children!’’ Well, they are too young to understand that
they are not pleasing you. Are you being treated for your own anger and your
own irresponsibility? Or are you still stuck in the mud immaturely saying ``I
don’t want therapy.’’ Saying this is old hat and not about the humanity we need
as BLACK people.
These are some of
the things I suggest for new parents:
1] Say to GOD each and every morning ``I will take full responsibility for the children I brought
into this world and I seek your guidance and help in doing so.’’
2] I will scold or curse at my child or hit or hurt my child
EVER! No matter what! I will learn more effective ways of disciplining my
children such as talking to a health care provider, or a pastor or a therapist
to keep calm and in control of myself and never lose my temper because children
are a gift directly from GOD Herself or GOD himself. I forgive myself for what I did wrong in raising
them in the past.
3] Watch ``Fix My
Life,’’ by Iyanla Vanzant and discover ways to interact that are more
positive and helpful ( The show airs on OWN and can be seen on You Tube.) Also: Please read Her book entitled ``Trust: Mastering the Four Essential Trusts
– Trust in Self; Trust in God; Trust in Others; Trust in Life.’’
This book is excellent and really teaches one a great life
path and is more caring, whole, real, workable, flexible and doable. We have to stop expecting grandparents and
others to care for what we brought here as humans. Our Children are our
responsibility.
4] Going to school and taking on reasonable expectations is
part of being an adult. Having reasonable expectations is a big thing to learn,
but it will help you have less frustrations and end-run anger, hatred, and
resentment. Often the voices you hear who are making you angry are really the
voices of people who want to help you and want to lessen your burden. Take time
to cool out and listen to other people who you think are responsible people in
your community. Try leaving the ear phones home and watch and listen to what
goes on in your Black community.
5] Learn to forgive and understand yourself. Often we want people to forgive us and
understand us when you or we haven’t done this work even for ourselves.
6] When you listen to music, try listening to music that is
not so ``hard’’ or `` repressive’’ ( I want you to look up the word ``repressive’’
in the dictionary. It means something
that is not about positive improvement and that holds people back and down. We
need music that lifts us up as BLACK people.
I don’t know for sure why, but much of the older music was
about healing and self-preservation. All the other stuff, just try not to
listen to it for about a few days. You will see a new person born inside you
after those three days. Music can be
healing and full of self-preservation and LOVe. Below are some of the songs I
want you to listen to:
``I Never Knew LOVe
Like This Before,’’ by Stephany Mills.
``Rubber Band Man,’’
by the Spinners.
``Ain’t No Stoppin Us
NOW’’, by Whitehead and McFadden.
Caston and Majors
``Light in My Window’’
Stevie Wonder’s
``Happy Birthday Song’’
``Keep Your Head to
the Sky,’’ By Earth, Wind and Fire.
``Walking in Rhythm,’’
by the Black Birds.
The Sounds of
Blackness ``Optimistic’’
``That’s the Way of
the World,’’ by Earth, Wind and Fire.
``When Will there be
a Harvest,’’ by The Isley Brothers.
7] Become more
politically aware. Much of what you are going through is part of a political
and economic solution that is at a peek of achievement. The Harvest is today! Don’t fret. These are
some books to read and videos to listen to and watch that will make you
understand that you are not just a voice in the wind , a voice that will never
be listened to or heard. What you are is legitimate and real and has a real
focus, and a beautiful ending, no matter what others say, or how much others
don’t understand. Here are some things
you might want to listen to even if it is only as a short time because you have
a rather short attention span.:
1] Lectures by Black
Historian John Henrick Clark on You Tube. ( He published a book called ``Africa
World Revolution,’’ that is quite good.
2] Lectures by
Professor Walter Rodney about AFRICA. ( He wrote a book called ``How Europe
Underdeveloped AFRICA,’’ that is also quite good. I read it at least twice.
3] Poetry by Maya
Angelou. On You Tube look up the first inauguration of Bill Clinton and you
will find Her poet about a Tree and a Lake. It is phenomenal.
4] Lectures by Claud
Anderson about economics. ( He wrote a book called ``POWERNOMICS: The National
Plan to Empower Black People,’’ . I read this and found it refreshing, helpful
and it gave me hope and inspiration.
5] READ my book ``Let
the Children Gather,’’ by Tracy Gibson. It is poetry, and is designed to take
the anger you have and turn around and into something that will propel you into
a brighter and more lucrative future where you don’t have to do anything but
think more positively as things work out for the betterment of you, your
family, and your friends.
6] Listen to the
lectures and look at the art work of Aziza Gibson Hunter. You can find my
sister on You Tube. Her work is classically BLACK, yet ornate, thought –
provoking and as complex as it is simple and beautiful. She did a piece of art work dedicated to
Aretha Franklin that is superb. Don’t miss it. You will not be disappointed.
7] Watch the Film
``The Learning Tree,’’ that was directed by Gordon Parks, a true, BLACK cultural
master. A Black writer, photographer and
director, Mr. Parks also directed the
first ``SHAFT,’’ starring Richard Roundtree.
One Last thing. You know how you call
yourselves as BLACK youth, DOGS, well I think you need to turn that around. YOU
are GODs. You walk a path set before you
by GOD and you have hope, and capabilities that are not only verifiable, but
REAL and actual. You can be that best person in the world, if this is your
goal. Remember until a few years ago, we
had never had a BLACK president. With your help, Mr. Barack Obama turned that
around and became the first BLACK President of the United States. WE as a
people are doing great things each and every day. You are a part of this incredible
success story.
